Can I get anyone some nice, cold ice tea? Mint from the garden, lemon and raspberries to stir in as you like... (sorry, its BYO shots to add!)
Just got an email from my date tonight. I'm pretty excited.
This is completely different from when I went out with that one guy before the D was complete....I think that was my destroyed ego reacting (I can see how WASs get sucked in). Looking back, I don't think it was the right thing to do. I am just lucky that I didn't get hurt, or hurt him. It was something that I never thought could be acceptable, and I would only be justifying behavior against my morals if I said it was. Both of us were reeling from break-ups, and talked more about our "others" than each other! One example of how far from sane I really was.
But this.....I am really looking forward to this date. This man's timeline for his R, M and D is very similar to mine. We share the same civic-mindedness. Our kids are close in age, and he is very involved with his. He reads, he is funny, and he is a gentleman. I'm not going into any expectations past tonight; I'm not looking for a new R.
But maybe I'll be stumbling into one...
**** Poor x. I had someone tell me yesterday:
"Hey, you got the house. You got cash back. You got some of the pension so you could catch up. You have physical custody of the kids, who are great and adjusting. You have your family. You have his parents. You have a career you love. You have activities that are meaningful to you." Plus, I have the new-found introspection and connections to my spirituality, new friends, long-repressed issues being dealt with, new perspectives and priorities...
What does he have to compare with all that? He walked away with little more than the clothes on his back, restricted time with the kids, everyone angry and disappointed in him, and a miserable girlfriend who is also committing adultery, spent years lying to those who loved her, and her screwed-up brood of four children. Stuff that all into a studio apt. above a garage.
And they are right. In a way, I am lucky that he D'd me. If he stayed with me but never wanted to work on the M and our R, what would I have, then? Stuck with someone who didn't value and love me. I am better off.
