My brother is going to live at my place and take care of my mare and dog.
Oooooh, I never thought about you being over there. I might just have to come up for a visit :-) I have your myspace but no email. Lwb has mine too....maybe she can coordinate for us.
Haven't posted for awhile so I thought I would give an update. Looks like I'll be leaving around the end of the month. I'm both excited and scared. The new beau is still hanging around, but he is a really busy guy so we are struggling with trying to see each other much before I leave. Oh well, if things are meant to be, they will. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come for a visit :-)
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Well, I have my official start date in Switzerland....Monday, September 29th. Looks like I will be leaving the US on the 26th or 27th. Wow, I still can't believe I'm doing this. It's getting very real.
I'm hoping to really be able to find some clarity and do some soul searching while I'm away. This will give me a chance to completely remove myself from my old life.
Things with the new beau aren't going so good and once again, I have no idea why. I backed off to see how he would react...that didn't help. We are still chatting but it is totally different than it first was...and not in a good way. I decided I have 23 days left and I'm not going to sit back anymore. Life's too short to not be yourself and not say what you feel. I decided to take the bull by the horns and tell him that we need to talk. I really like this guy and I thought he really liked me and I'm confused and frustrated and dammit after everything we've shared, I think he can give me an hour of his time to sit down and discuss what's going on. I don't want to waste my time or his time on something that isn't real, and if that's the case I will accept this as another lesson learned....pack my bags...move to Switzerland and not turn back. I hope that's not the case and that he really does care for me, but the only way I'm going to find that out is by talking....not by walking around wondering what's going on in his head. What you see is what you get with me and he saw that right away because he was very impressed with my honesty because it's a hard quality to find these days...isn't that the truth.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Just reading up on your story. I'm so very happy that you are going to Switzerland. Someone up there is really looking out for you.
Now, about the dating and the guys. I'm going to be honest with you here...I think you may come on too strong in the beginning. If someone really likes you, but you come on too strong, it will scare them away. I know that it might not seem like you come on very strong, but from your posts here it looks like you do. For example, you mentioned you and B3 were emailing each other short emails daily the first week after your first date. It may not seem like a lot, but IT IS. I think these guys are not calling back because they really, truly do like you, but they just need to create some space. A good guideline is to let them do all the calling in the first month. One date a week in the first month. 2 dates a week in the second and 3 in the third. I think dating is harder as we get older. It's not like in school where you can talk to the person every day etc. You said you wanted to be pursuited. Let them pursuit you. That means they take the lead. They make the phone calls, they ask you out, they let you know what they are thinking in terms of a relationship. I recommend the book: Mars and Venus on a date. It's a good dating guideline.
I also recommend you have a fantastic time in SWITZERLAND!!!! Yay! Congrats!
Thanks for whitelight. I really appreciate the advice and your view of things and I'm definitely going to check out that book.
I agree that I might come on a little strong, but B3 came on strong as well. He was so open and honest from day 1...he was a breath of fresh air after what I had been through with B2.
For example, he insisted on driving 60 miles to see me one week after we met because we wouldn't be able to see each other that weekend otherwise. We've been on 3 dates in one month and talk on the phone every couple of days....I don't think too many people would say that's too strong. B3, himself told me that he told the other girl that he was sort of dating when he met me that he couldn't see her anymore because he met someone else and he was really interested in seeing where that was going.
Also, this minor thing of me leaving the country in 3 weeks is getting in the way with the normal progression of a relationship. I signed on the dotted line for Switzerland before I even met him.
I'm probably just a fool. After everything I've been through, I still try to see the good in people and believe that there are good men in this world. The trouble is that I keep getting burned. I pride myself in not turning into a bitter, scorned woman after my X left me for another woman....if this keeps happening I'm afraid I might turn into a woman that I never wanted to be.
I'm going to take your advice Whitelight. I'm done calling him. I hope he calls me back, but if not, his loss. Either way, I'm moving at the end of the month and now, I'm sure glad I didn't back out of going because of him.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I think you need to stop looking for someone to be "your" someone. Does that make sense?
Yes, 100% yes. I was not looking for this guy to be my someone....I gave up on my someone...I was leaving the country. He's the one that insisted on calling our first meeting a date...the one who came with a ton of questions on the first date...the one who called this a "relationship" the first week...the one that told everyone he met this great girl. That's why I'm frustrated....I wasn't walking around looking for anything....I was leaving and completely content with that idea and this guy falls into my lap and appears to have fallen hard for me for a few weeks and then ice cold. I think I'm just too trustworthy and too nice. The walls around my heart are going up...I'm tired of being let down over and over. If you don't let anyone in, you can't get hurt. I'm focusing on me and Switzerland.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
