Is he starting to come home?

[No Longer BH]

Ready - I looked cute tonight. I make it a point to ALWAYS look cute or sexy around him.

Have this new lotion that smells wonderful. Kind of similar to a purfume I had a long time ago that drove H wild.

I only treat him with respect, kindness and an open heart. There is no anger in me anymore, I have found peace in my life. I do not judge what he says or does, just try to listen when he needs it. I have come to a place that if H does not ever want to come home, I am still good. I am thankful that we can at least seperate as friends.

I LOVED S old school. It is a private school that we had to pull him from due to H uncontrollable spending. He wiped out our savings and borrowed all of his 401K. He has nothing to show for any of it. Just showed me how sick he became.

Hmmm....that is a good question. I felt good that he kept wanting to talk to me. Felt alot like old times. Especially since we were laughing and joking. Did not like that he brought up D again, but I try not to focus on that because his actins were different than his words. It felt VERY uncomfortable to me keeping the distance that I did. I am a very affectionate kind of person, so it almost felt as if I was being mean by not standing with him. Again, though, this is my issue, not his. I did not want to be too pushy after the last day of him pulling back some. I was trying to give him space. Just dont want it to seem like I was blowing him off. Like I said, I was all smiles and nice, just not seeking him out or following him or starting converations with him - being inconsistant.

At the end of it all, I feel it went alright, but that is because of MY insecurities - did I do it right? was I distant enough? was I too distant? kind of thing. Tomorrow will tell.

Thanks for checking back in on me. I try and help out newbies as well, but sometimes us worn out vets need reassurance. Thanks again.