Something lost and never seen....

[Sugar and Spice]

GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! It has just been one of those nights. DS had football practice tonight and it was also back to school night for him. Hes in Jr. High so I was supposed to visit all of his classes and sit through each little speech. The school ALWAYS asks that you not bring the kids (the ones that attend or younger ones). I realize that some people don't have any other option, but I do.... So I ask H to watch/hang out with DD so I can go and he agrees but bitches about it. Why can't you take her, thats just stupid, etc....

So he takes DS so practice and I was going to pick up DD and bring her home before I went to the school. I get to daycare to get her and as we are leaving, my car won't start...great. So I call H. We live about a mile from the school and it takes him 10 minutes to get there (it was 104, so I was hot and bitchy...a winning combo!) So he gets there and jumps the battery on my car and then goes back to the house. I go back to the house too and not even thinking, pulled into the garage and turned the car off. NOT MY FINEST DECISION, but it was done.

So OF COURSE the car won't turn back over and H comes out of the house and just goes off. "Why did you do that?" "How stupid are you?" Just really being an ass. So I tell him that I don't need this [censored] and to leave, I'll figure it out myself. Oh no, he is going to help me. He find and hooks up a portable battery charger to the car and of course it doesn't really work. He keeps going out to the car to check the battery and every time he comes back in the house he lays the keys down in a different spot. Then gets pissed and yells because they aren't - On the bed, in the car, on the counter, etc... wherever he thinks he left them...so he yells. Then he decides he is going to go and buy me a battery (which I TOTALLY appreciate, because I don't have but about $30.00 to my name.)

He goes to buy the battery and then calls to let me know I just cost him $100.00 and how do I expect him to be able to pay the insurance when I'm costing him money? Are you F*CKING SERIOUS? He loans that fat ass Troll money ALL the TIME and I never ask for ANYTHING, and this is the [censored] I get? So I told him that I don't cost him anything and he throws in my face the $1800.00 a month he is paying me....I just lost it. I told him that I was sorry he hadn't made better decisions, that I was sorry he married me and that his bad choice then is costing him $$ now. BTW...the $1800.00 he pays covers my house payment (it went up significantly when we added all of his gambling debts into our re-fi.) and most of the cell phone bill (so he pays to keep in touch with his nasty whore!) There is nothing left after that. The rest I pay by myself and I never ask him for anything. I pay for it myself or go without while he gambles and spends money left and right.
So he is putting the battery in my car and just acting like an ass to me. Being very disrespectful and mean and when I start to cry he just gets worse. It just really hurt. This is not something I did, but he acted like it was. Apparently the old battery was still under warranty, so then there was the whole discussion about how if I hadn't been stupid and put the car in the garage I could have taken it out to Honda and gotten a new battery out there (free or cheaper...they pro-rate it so I'm pretty sure it would have been about the same.) Whatever, so now I have to hear about how I cost him $100.00

The battery finally gets put in and the car works, so I tell him that it would be nice if we could learn a different way to handle situations like that and he basically just shuts me down. Thats just the way we are with stuff like that and we can't learn any other way, etc... So I went to back to school night and he went and got DS and took him home and left. He called a couple of times and he was telling me how he wasn't mad or anything that I shouldn't take it personally, that when he gets frustrated thats just how he acts. Which is true, but it needs to change. You abuse someone else because you are frustrated? I have seen his mom do it to him so many times and he hates it, but its ok when he does it to someone else.

I also had a beer in the fridge and was going to drink it (I have earned it) and he had poured it out. F*CKER!!!!

I'm mad and I'm hurt. I don't know what to do. This really puts a crimp in my ability to act "as if" and try to just be a friend because he really just pissed me off and hurt my feelings.

Just needed to vent!

Oh and one of his comments while he was here was "Now you owe me $100.00." My thought was...well I can't type most of it, but I'm pretty sure he can just whistle for his $100.00 - we'll call it even.