H4H, sorry to interupt the movie discussion but I just want to clarify my last post. There is nothing wrong with having women friends, I have one who I hang out with and have known for many years. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are clear about your feelings about these friends. My friend is an attractive woman but I have never felt any longing for anything but friendship, the male/female thing has never been an issue. When you KNOW you see a woman friend as R material as well as a friend that is the time to be very careful. Don't make such friends key confidents and don't spend too much time with them. It's too easy to fall into something that may be validating at the time but in the long run may add to your woes. Female friends are great as long as you are very aware of how you see them and act accordingly. Also in this regard, listen to your friends. My friends used to laugh when I'd tell them that my Filipino friend and I were "just friends. The usual comment was "Sure, call it coffee friends or whatever else makes you feel good, but everyone knows where this is going including you two" I'd get pissed, but they were right. So listen to your friends when they say sh!t like that, what you are going through right now can make your own personal judgement a bit suspect. (Btw, your friends, as mine did, will most likely support you in looking to a new R cuz they hate to see you hurt...but ignore their judgement on that count ) OK, sermon is now over. Enjoy your movie!
but I just want to clarify my last post. There is nothing wrong with having women friends, I have one who I hang out with and have known for many years. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are clear about your feelings about these friends. My friend is an attractive woman but I have never felt any longing for anything but friendship, the male/female thing has never been an issue. When you KNOW you see a woman friend as R material as well as a friend that is the time to be very careful. Don't make such friends key confidents and don't spend too much time with them. It's too easy to fall into something that may be validating at the time but in the long run may add to your woes. Female friends are great as long as you are very aware of how you see them and act accordingly. Also in this regard, listen to your friends. My friends used to laugh when I'd tell them that my Filipino friend and I were "just friends. The usual comment was "Sure, call it coffee friends or whatever else makes you feel good, but everyone knows where this is going including you two" I'd get pissed, but they were right. So listen to your friends when they say sh!t like that, what you are going through right now can make your own personal judgement a bit suspect. (Btw, your friends, as mine did, will most likely support you in looking to a new R cuz they hate to see you hurt...but ignore their judgement on that count )
