The day he took off, his cell rang. He said it was a wrong number. Because of how deceptive I was, I immediately think he is lying. I ask to see the number and he shows me, no hesitation. He's not lying. I'm the liar, correction...I WAS the liar. Now, I keep thinking what comes around goes around and I will get it in the end. I'm too lucky to have this wonderful H after what I've done. Forgiving yourself, as an almost WAW, is harder than you may think.
Seems like this is the reason many attempted reconciliations fail. People cannot imagine the other person truly forgiving and being honest. I got accused of so much deception by my unfaithful wife, it was comical. She looked at everything I did with suspicion. At one point she accused me of having an affair. I denied it. She didn't believe me. She was convinced I had her under surveillance and I had hacked into her computer to spy on her. . . No matter what I said, she didn't believe me.
[shrug]
But please don't get caught up in this! Please please please. Keep the faith, be of good heart. Have courage. Find a way to trust again.
