2 steps forward, 3 back

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Had a bad week, laying low with my tail between my legs. Signed the D receipt paper for him this morning. He didn't say anything, luckily. I thought I might get a tongue lashing in person. So glad I did not. I hope over time he will calm down. We'll see. He can't stay mad at me forever. I hope. Even if I can no longer be his wife I would still like to be a friend, or at least civil, if that is even possible. But for him it seems he wants me as far away as possible, like being near me is a threat to his new life or something. I have told him for 3 yrs now that I don't consider him an enemy and I don't ever want him to consider me one. Thinking about just rolling over and agreeing to what he wants in the D. Might make it easier to do it now than wait. But I don't know how I'll afford a lawyer. Sigh...They don't make life for single income families anymore. I wish I was in the 50's.