It is liking seeing a present under the tree. You just don't know what is inside the wrapping paper.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
OH My Gosh, Craig, I have never visited your thread before, but I see what you mean about hardly anyone visiting you. What is wrong with this picture. I don't feel qualified to tell you how to handle your sitch, but I do sympathize with you. I rarely post much anymore because my schedule is brutal. But, I have some advice to offer. Go to your profile and add your thread's http address to your signature, like mine is.
I guarantee you'll get more responses to your thread. Try it. It works!
I read through your thread -- but fairly quickly so I may have missed a detail. But I'm wondering if your wife isn't really ill and therefore also depressed. Or very depressed and therefore also is ill.
I wouldn't treat this as if she were an MLCer.
Think about how you would maneuver if all this stemmed from a physical illness.
Hang in there...and trust God.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:7
I cling to the following passage, given to me by a sweet nun when I asked her to pray for me:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD (from Jeremiah 29)
Last edited by sgctxok; 08/29/0801:46 AM.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
You are right that this is her journey. This part of her life is more about her and issues she has within her than it is about you. Time is on your side. If you can be good to her and be there for her, I believe it greatly increases your chances of getting through this.
Hang in there. It will get better.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
To be honest, my situation up until the last couple of weeks has been pretty static, I don't believe she is sick per se.She won't see a counselor, I have talked to her about many times. It does no good to push her, she just digs in her heels. I believe that just loving her and letting her be is more fruitfull. I certainly cannot change her mind.If it was a physical illness I would try to get her to the doctor, but you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make them drink.I pray for her protection, and the Lord has answered those prayers.
It is in God's hands, all I can do is love her from a distance.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
As far as being there for my wife, I have been and will continue to be. If she chooses to proceed and finalize the divorce there is nothing I can do about that. I asked her a few weeks ago, first time in many months, if she felt any different about me. She said no. I was expecting that answer. I just said ok, and walked away. This is all about her, I know that.She needs to deal with her issues, other than our relationship, I am pretty happy.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Hey Craig, you are right, there is nothing you can do. It's her party. So, keep on keepin' on, ya know? She needs to walk this journey. You need to just take care of you and be there for your children.
Do something nice for yourself, something fun. And leave it with God. You cant go wrong if you do that.
"I pray for her protection, and the Lord has answered those prayers."
Good Afternoon Craig, You're praying for her protection seems to be pretty similar to how I feel about my husband. He's being taking for a ride by a much younger woman. I think it is good to hope the best for them, not that we can do much about it. I gotta tell you. I LIKED the fact you asked her how she feels about you. That may not be the DB way, but how would you really know otherwise. I think we eventually have to come out of the dark emotionally. We don't have to say out of the dark, but for our own peace of mind, we have to know.
Poet, I know we are not suppose to take the tempature of our relationship, but after over 10 months without ever bringing it up I just threw it out there.This was after she said she was trying to finish up the settlement agreement. I already knew the answer, so it was not a suprise.
I do pray for her protection, I pray that she will be protected from the enemy (satan).I also pray she will be protected from outside influences.Up this point all those prayers have been answered.She is confused and lost, and on her own journey.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I'm sorry to hear that she is over you. I think my H is over me too. But for some reason, I keep coming back here because there is some semblance of truth to the fact that we still LOVE them. And, we are worried about their well being, in one way or another. Please know that I am with you. We can talk to each other every day and maybe have some company in all of this.
Have you had a chance to add your signature line yet? It really helps people see your thread and comment on it. Click on my "red" link below, and you will see what I mean.
