I guess what I'm looking for is a real way to keep the door open without being a doormat or crowding her or looking needy.
It takes skill and time to master. It can be very challenging. I know this first hand. Avoid things that can make you feel like a doormat. Not only do they make you feel used, they are not generally big love bank deposits to her. Generally these are physical or monetary actions (taking care of her car, fixing her house etc. Instead do things that will make her feel like you care for her on an emotional level. Things like, be there to talk when she needs you, tell her things to make herself feel good, show her affection, understanding and caring.
Originally Posted By: thrillisgone
There is a fine line between being detached and keeping the lines of communication open.
Not at all. In fact if you truly detach then the lines of communication open up, because you are not so controlled by your emotions and feelings and you are more prone to be honest and open.
Do not confuse detaching with giving up, walking away, shutting her out. None of those are actions are even remotely close to detaching. If you think they are, then you need to look more into what detaching is. Let me know if I can help you with that. I struggled with it for quite awhile.
Originally Posted By: thrillisgone
She lies and distorts the truth alot.
Do you think she does that to hide things from you or is it just her way of protecting herself from being vulnerable and hurt?
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
