Jen - from what you've told us about your H, he does love and care about you. Of course he gets frustrated, but his actions speak loud and clear.
Right now he does not feel like you trust him, or that you have respected him. He feels smothered and controlled. Many months back when I started following your sitch, your H laid it out plain as day what it was he needed and wanted from you.
Right now, you need to work on you, changing the things that create these situations between you and your H. Stopping those dynamics. Your DB coach gave you great advice, and pointed out a lot of things to you. I really was impressed at how quickly she read your situation. Follow her advice. Once you can change how you react, you are going to start noticing a change for the better in your H.
