I know. But he needs to feel safe to call you and initiate contact. It is hard, beleive me I know, but you CAN do this. Just give him a few days. He is already nuts about you, and so I don't believe it will really take more than that. But for a while, let him call you.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Yesterday I was chatting with him for a bit on Google...he signed out and then I went to FB and saw him there so to be evil I popped into chat and said
me..."hi". he..."your everywhere!" me..."I was checking on something....are you hiding from me?" he..."I can run but I can't hide" me..."hun, the world is only so big :)" he signed out
I went back to Google to check email he was there again and I said "boo" and then signed out but stayed in Gmail.
I think he thought I was chasing him but I was trying to have fun
Too much?
*lightly slapping Jen's hands* BIG FAT NO NO.
Keep yourself as invisible on google. (I do this with my H. It works wonders) Do not chat him up on fb, do not text him, do not call him unless it is absolutely necessary. Give him space, let him breathe.
You know, Lola started keeping a journal about her calls/texts to her H, based on something her IC asked her to do. She asked her to journal even when she felt the need. I think this would be a good thing for you to do also. Maybe you can start to see a pattern, or find out why you feel the need at the times you do.
Maybe Lola could chime in here on this, but I think she's been finding it useful.
Jen - from what you've told us about your H, he does love and care about you. Of course he gets frustrated, but his actions speak loud and clear.
Right now he does not feel like you trust him, or that you have respected him. He feels smothered and controlled. Many months back when I started following your sitch, your H laid it out plain as day what it was he needed and wanted from you.
Right now, you need to work on you, changing the things that create these situations between you and your H. Stopping those dynamics. Your DB coach gave you great advice, and pointed out a lot of things to you. I really was impressed at how quickly she read your situation. Follow her advice. Once you can change how you react, you are going to start noticing a change for the better in your H.
I think it is a little of both, but he keeps coming back. He loves you. Now, love yourself.
The journal works wonders. I actually write in it pretty frequently, not that I want to call all the time, but for whenever I have a thought. As a matter of fact, I reminded myself yesterday after seeing H that I need to let go now again, and let him think about it. I don't expect that I will hear from him, and that is okay. I will contact again on Monday so that I can give him ins money, and do it the same way. As a matter of fact, I already have the joke I am going to forward, but I am not going to do it until Monday.
It gives him space and time. H is a bizzy man w/ work, and this way, he really has a chance to think on his down time. Although I still wonder, I know I cross his mind during those moments. He is just sitting and watching right now. He wants to see if I am going to become the clinging vine again. I won't, not again.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I think incorporating them would be good. Maybe you could use a hiliter or something like that to show where you felt the need to call/text or did call text and why. That way its a handy reference for you to refer to.
Didn't mean to hijack...lol...sometimes I forget whose thread I am on!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
