Something that she said was that we sometimes have a self fulfilling profecy. Sometimes we let others feel that we don't trust them (for example) even though they have never given us any reason to feel this way. Over time the person who doesn't feel trusted gets to a certian point and says/thinks something like "she doesn't trust me so why not just do X". Then we turn around and think "see I knew I couldn't trust him".
I spent a few years wondering and showing mistrust for XH and then one day my worst fear came true. Many times he told me "if you think I'm going to do X maybe I should do it just so you can be right".
She said we need to begin showing the person that we do trust them and over time they will want to prove us right.
It fits for my sitch...howabout yours?
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
