Originally Posted By: marisol
Is this a pattern for him? Is it worth it? My heart says to hang on because I know he loves me, but my mind says something totally different.


Hi Marisol! Nice to meet you and glad you found us here! \:\) I think we all can relate. I don't know if it's a pattern, but it def. sounds like your H has some issues. Probably a C would need to figure out exactly what some are but maybe fear of committment issues or who knows what? I mean yeah, I agree we need to work on ourselves but I do think 95% of this stuff is b/c the WAS is having some kind of psych. issues or MLC or immaturity or serial adulterer or some of these combined.

I do think yes, it is good to work on issues that you have that maybe contribute to R problems, but at some point your H will have to work on his issues as well for an R to work out for you (or for that matter your H to be able to have a long-term R with anybody). So maybe you should just concentrate on what you can control which is working on yourself, doing 180s, GALing, and making yourself as strong, healthy, and confident as possible.

You also mentioned should you hang on and I think sometimes our WAS are kind of already emotionally checked out and it's not even possible to hang onto them anyway. I wouldn't worry about that stuff now as that might be something you can decide later. If you really GAL a lot and work on yourself you may or may not decide later that you don't want to try to hang onto him, but something you can think about down the road.

Hope you continue to post here if it helps you at all. There are a great group of people here--I'm proud be able to call them my friends!!! \:\) Karen

Me 53
D18, S24