The hardest part is that he was not like this when we just lived together. He was so great. He was home with us and the kids we did everything together. There were no signs of him straying at all. Then as soon as we got married he started to change. He talked to me less and when I would talk to him I felt like I was bothering him.
It's just very hard to accept because everything was so good and positive and we were making plans of what we wanted to do especially when the kids were grown and out of the house.
It's even harder to write this right now when I'm at work not able to function having to close my door and cry while I write this.
I cry alone because I don't want my daughter to feel my pain.
From all that I have read he has the signs of a MLC but without the new car or coloring his hair and things like that. He has always talked about how old he looks and how he was gaining weight and I would tell him that I loved him no matter what he looked like. He started hanging out with younger friends in their 20's and going to the bar more often.
Sometimes I think I did take our relationship for granted because I expected him to always be there. I thought it was going to be forever. I worried a great deal about finances and I showed it but it never meant that I was unhappy with him. Maybe he thought I was.
I just feel like there is no hope but I desperately want him back in my life. He means everything to me. But then when I see emails of him telling her how much he loves her and that he wants to make sure they communicate because he doesn't want to jeopardize anything and that he wants to make the best of everything. How do I keep going? How do I follow the steps in Michele's book Divorce Remedy?
He doesn't communicate with me. We will see each other so much less now that he has moved. We have a D16 but she wants nothing to do with him.
So many people are just telling me to let go that you start believing it you know?
I have so many emotions....I just feel so destroyed
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
