Two affairs in 5 months....

[happycamper]

Hi marisol

I just wanted to let you know that I have read your post with a heavy heart and I am sorry that you find yourself in this position.

This is the bit that gets to me:

Is this a pattern for him? Is it worth it? My heart says to hang on because I know he loves me, but my mind says something totally different.

It might be a pattern for him, and if it is (as cat says) the only real way through this is for him to admit that, to see it as an issue for him and to work on it. If this is an ongoing issue then it usually has more to do with the H than the W. My H has been unfaithful to me many, many times, and although there are things I could have done much better during my M, I know ultimately that nothing I could have done or said would have changed him.

I'm sure it can be worth it, if you want it to be. Friends get very angry over what our Hs have done, they don't always give out the best advice. I tell mine that if they really want to be a good friend to me, the best thing they can do is talk in a neutral way about H.

I know what you mean about the heart and the head! Maybe you're just going to have to give it time, do some DBing and see what happens.

You do need to focus on yourself because that benefits you all round. It will help you in a DBing sense, and it will help you just for you.

There are some really wise people on here (far wiser than me!) and I'm sure they will be a great help.