For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[hopeful4her]

Hey TB. Good to meet ya' and thanks for stopping by.

Yeah, AT seems to have taken a liking to me for some reason. He pounds me pretty good.

There are 2 people that make me think the most. AT and wdid. I am blessed by all the others here, but those two make me think the most.

I don't think that I focus so much on her. At least not as much as I used to. She pops up a lot though because I put so much into my posts.

My thoughts are that we are here for a common goal. At least we THINK we come here for a common goal. What really happens is that we are supposed to end up finding ourselves, I think. I have had my eye on the "goal" for so long, it is hard to let it go. I understand that my goal should be to make myself happy. Find my peace.

I WAS completely wrapped up in her. Now, not so much. My goal is now myself. What DOES make me happy? What brings me joy? I have been finding SOME. Backslide here and there. It's like I have to trick myself into thinking that she is just gone. I have even said that, to me, she died a over year ago. Her moving out was like shoveling the dirt on her grave. If and when it happens, D papers might be the tombstone.

I find my hope for her diminishing weekly if not daily. I think it helps me to move on, thinking that.

Whatever it is that I'm doing right now is making me feel happy with myself. Key words are, right now. My kids are my greatest joy.

I'll be telling myself less and less, "I hope she notices this or that about me." I still do it, but it feels like it is less and less.

I'll get there.

Just curious, did you read the whole sordid tale?