Hi peace- You have been so strong and you do deserve more. It is so sad and frustrating that this destruction has to come to anyone's life...but rather than crumble, you have chosen to grown and thrive, all the while letting your H and your children know that you don't want the D. You have continued to do everything to save your M while you to try and live a happy, normal (whatever that is!!!)life. You should feel so proud of yourself.
When my H and I were at the C the other night, my H talked about how he felt like I was an authority figure to him and that is part of why he had to get away. Now, he says how much he appreciates me accepting him on his terms (not questioning him about his choices whatever they may be...grrr!). I hear what he is saying but I still can't help but think that part of this is so skewed and selfish...so adolecent. My H said he sensed a shift in me when I let go (basically when I learned to stuff my feelings...or plain just not care). It seems to me that your H is still stuck at this adolecent phase. He is having trouble getting past it even though, IMO, he enjoys having some kind of relationship with you. Oh well, I guess it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things because you know you need to focus on you and your kids...I just think sometimes it still helps us to have some understanding.
I hope things are getting easier for you and you are looking forward to whatever new adventures life has to offer.
