Letting go and moving on is the sensible thing to do right now. I'm lucky that W is generally pleasant, we'll be good co-parents.
I don't really see her as a 'mess' any more. She's just living her life, looking for whatever will make her happy.
At least I'm not witnessing any more of her strange behaviors, maybe she isn't having any of them now that she's out of the house.
I mentioned to her Dad last night that she's calling me before coming over and is respecting the rules I set up. He said "Yeah, she knows she messed up with you so she's being careful". He knows her pretty well too. He says I need to just let her go and move on because she has moved on.
Anyway, I miss her, at least the 'her 'I used to know.
I'm still stuck with the financial mess but I'm doing something about it slowly. At least it's 'hopeful' instead of 'hopeless'.
Wow Frank, your threads get locked up pretty quick. It takes me about a month, but my situation is pretty slow since all hope for my M being saved was given up.
Grieve the loss of the wife you used to know. I am glad to hear that a lot of the chaos is out of your life now and that you are co-parenting together well.
W called but neither D13 nor I answered the phone. She left a message for D13 asking her how her first day at school was. Very bubbly and upbeat tone in her voice.
A little later she called again and D13 didn't answer. I was in her room wit her talking and had brought her cell phone to her since I knew W was trying to get a hold of her and she'd call her cell phone next, which she did do.
They talked, W is going to take her shopping for a new skirt tonight after we have our dinner.
W hasn't talked to me since this morning when she called me to ask if I was picking D13 up from school.
So we move forward with detachment. She lives her life, I live mine. That's just the way it is. It's not my choice, I just have to live with it.
This morning I didn't set my alarm to get up early. D17 always gets up on her own with her alarm and yesterday when I woke up D13 at 7 am she admonished me because she has her own alarm and "Doesn't need me to treat her like a baby".
Well, she didn't set her alarm and when she didn't answer her cell text message from W, W came in the house and woke her up.
W then went on to make her lunch, give her something for breakfast and other things, all the while 'apologizing' to me for being in the house. I thanked her, said I was lying in the bed, not thinking that maybe D13 wasn't up, and told her how I got yelled at yesterday. She laughed about that and said that D13 likes to be independent but you still have to keep an eye on her.
I was making coffee and asked her if she would like some also and she said "Yes, I would like that very much, thank you".
She was rushing around getting things, got the bird out of her cage and put her on her perch. In other words, she was 'doing the morning routine'. I didn't stop her or say anything.
My sense was she was uncomfortable but she was being pleasant.
She took D13 to school and asked me if it was ok for her to come back to use her computer to check her e-mail. I said 'of course'.
When she came back she asked me what her share of the car insurance and the cell phone bill is, she wanted to get her own insurance and cell service because she didn't think I should have to pay for it. She said she should be taking more responsibility for herself.
I told her that the group plan is cheaper than getting her own, and it would be nice if she just split it with me, along with the cell service, so she's paying for part of the kids bill.
She said that would be ok, as long as I don't mind her being on the plan. And could she pay a weekly amount because that would be easier. She laughed at herself and said "Of course, I don't even know if I can come up with that money"
I said that would be good and I appreciate her putting some money in.
So that's it. She had some coffee, checked her e-mail and is now gone.
I feel good this morning. I keep walking my path forward.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Hi Frank, you already know a group plan is cheaper but for the car insurance have you checked if it is even an option to have separate plans? I checked when I wanted H to be responsible for his portion of our insurance, I could not drop him from my plan and have him get his own personal insurance. It was not an option in my state.
Keep your chin up and eyes on the horizon.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I checked when I wanted H to be responsible for his portion of our insurance, I could not drop him from my plan and have him get his own personal insurance. It was not an option in my state.
Is that because you're married still? That would make sense to me.
I checked when I wanted H to be responsible for his portion of our insurance, I could not drop him from my plan and have him get his own personal insurance. It was not an option in my state.
Is that because you're married still? That would make sense to me.
Yes, we're still married and in the same house and I hope we stay that way(but better!) but I couldn't and didn't want to keep carrying the financial responsibility for him. Plus, he/we had an accident and he had a speeding ticket so the rates increased.
A call to your agent would give you your options.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
