day by day

[GoingForward]

Sweetie, I feel ya. (((((((lwb)))))))

So what do you think about laying down those boundaries Gypsy was talking about? I believe they are in order here.

You're a strong woman. You can do this. I believe in you.

(((((((Hugs)))))))

[fightingirish]

(((((lwb)))))

we all believe in you. You do need to set boundaries up with him. He feels like he can come and go as he pleases, and that needs to stop in order for you to move ahead with your own life. this is just making it harder on you, and you've been through enough. How selfish of him to even put you in this position again and again.

Im sorry, I really am. I hope you are able to get some peace soon.

Thinking of you

[Gypsy]

Okay, ms. lwb..

If being upfront isn't working.. then it's time for a different approach.


Load up the couch with boxes on top and around it.

Unscrew all the lightbulbs so he's completely in the dark.

Put rubber cement on the doorknob so his hand will get stuck when he comes in.

Have a friend park their car in your driveway for the evening.

Put a sock on the doorknob indicating you're 'busy'

Take the couch cushions away.

Put up a "Quaratine" or "Crime Scene" tape.

Douse the cushion with water

Hide the remote controls.

Draw designs on his face with a permanent marker when he's sleeping.

OR..

Tell him that you need space at home (no more couch time) as you both move on.

Of course, I can't even talk to my spouse anymore.. so take what I write with a grain of salt.

*hugs*

[GoingForward]

Okay, ms. lwb..

If being upfront isn't working.. then it's time for a different approach.


Load up the couch with boxes on top and around it.

Unscrew all the lightbulbs so he's completely in the dark.

Put rubber cement on the doorknob so his hand will get stuck when he comes in.

Have a friend park their car in your driveway for the evening.

Put a sock on the doorknob indicating you're 'busy'

Take the couch cushions away.

Put up a "Quaratine" or "Crime Scene" tape.

Douse the cushion with water

Hide the remote controls.

Draw designs on his face with a permanent marker when he's sleeping.

OR..

Tell him that you need space at home (no more couch time) as you both move on.

Of course, I can't even talk to my spouse anymore.. so take what I write with a grain of salt.

*hugs*

ROTFLMAO!!!

LOVE THE LIST! I vote for all of it!

(((((((lwb)))))))

[L21959]

Okay....

I'm laughing out loud right now, and people wandering around my office are wondering what the heck is going on!!

(((lwb)))

Gypsy!

L2

[NoCodeBlues]

LOL.

You could also try the shaving cream in the palm of his hand trick...

...or the one where you place his hand in a container of warm water (you might need to preplan for a mattress pad under him first.)

Hugs.

[LL44]

Gypsy, I love it!!! Thank you for the smiles.

Well, my friends. I got a lot accomplished yesterday.

I woke up and took my kids to school. Came back, and assumed H was ready to go with me to the courts to file for our divorce.

H: Oh. Um. Can't you just go? I don't have to be there, do I?

Me: No. You don't have to go.

And I left.

Drove to the courts, parked, walked my paperwork in, had a very nice woman helping me. I was shaking so much I could barely fill out this tiny sheet of paper in order to file. I wrote my check for $140 and off I went. We'll get a court date in a few weeks.

Nice.

Came back to the house, and didn't even phase H when he realized I went without him. I treated him kindly and told him that I need a lot more space from him that I am getting. That this will be my home, my place of rest/relaxation. That he has somewhere else to go to have his space. That I need him to be gone when the girls are sleeping. That he is welcome to be here to visit the girls/take the girls/help out when he can. During the day. At night, he is to go to his dads. He laughed a nervous laugh, which meant he was totally caught cake-eating. He listened and seemed to get it. He quietly left last night when the girls went to bed.

The peace was amazing.

I told him we are separating finances next week.

I will keep up with this. I need it. Thanks for giving me the courage.

His guilt must have kicked in because today he made a huge trip to Lowes and is starting big projects around the house. I appreciate his help, but never asked for it. He does care about me, just doesn't want me as his wife.

[fightingirish]

(((lwb))), its so strange the way he is acting, I don't get it. This is what he wanted, but it seems he is holding on for some reason..

Im glad that you told him you need space, that's great! You need to get on with your life and he is the one who chose this path, you are doing it, and he's dragging his feet!

Have a good nite!

[NoCodeBlues]

((((Lwb))))

Your H... how pathetic. He wants this D, and yet he cannot be bothered to actually advance his own cause, leaves it up to you? What a total frakktard.

And you, babe, are just so unbelievably together and so far above him. I hope you can now find the peace and serenity you deserve, the contentment he has robbed you and your DD's of.

As much as I believe in M and doing everything humanly possible to try to make it work, your H is so derelict in his responsibilities on even the most basic and lenient level that even I am saying you're going to be much better off without than with with this person he is being at present.

[Yoyowife]

Hi LWB,

I had to chuckle a little about your H's reaction to your boundaries. It seems like he is now the LBS and you are the WAS. Is he,heaven forbid,pursuing you? Lady, you are da bomb! You are one masterful DBer, you have detached so much that I'm not sure he could get you back now!

Hugs, Yoyo