Inconsistent "reaching out" which might be doing a nice thing just to do it (and that's not needy), and then being busy and not doing something for awhile is a good way to avoid pushing him back in a hole. Also, doing it without expectations (i.e., "Just thought you might like that, no big deal...." Just thought I'd invite you, but I understand if you are busy and can't make it...").
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
