"I love my husband and I want to give him the home so he can reside there. I do not want this divorce but I do want him to be happy, and if that means giving him what he wants, that I will do that (with conditions as far as monetary value are concerned)." Perhaps hearing someone else say it will allow him to let it sink in.
I am sorry to have to post this... I don't think your husband is in a place mentally where he is ready or capable of hearing what you want him to hear.
A 180 would be saying to your attorney "Please have his attorney provide the first draft of the settlement for my review." Or if you want mediation "Please set up a mediation session." And then say nothing.
I have not read your entire situation - but he is probably use to hearing the I love yous and you saying things that simply provide him with ammunition to be disrespectful towards you. And he probably expects to hear what you have posted above. He is not use to hearing nothing. A change in your behavior pattern may make him wonder.
You are not being disrespectful towards H by asking for what you want. You are saying - I love you - but I also have boundaries w/o demanding. You are not saying you love H any less by setting a tone that simply cannot be used to escalate the situation. Your challenges is to remain respectful, calm and not being drawn into an argument or emotional exchange.
The X was also usually much more well behaved in public and in front of other people.
And I know how hard it is to keep your emotions in check. Sometimes that is what you need to do to get where you need to go. In this case - it is to catch H's attention by doing the unexpected.
There is nothing wrong with slowing down the process - but do it in a way that is not transparent to H. The X filed and I instructed my attorney to wait till the last day to respond. I suggested that you have H's attorney draft the first draft. Do that if you have confidence in your own attorney to redline the settlement to pieces if necessary.
I am not a D attorney and my D was relatively simple in that there were no kids or alimony involved - it was a simple 50/50 division of assets. Talk to your attorney about options that are available to you to delay things so you have time to detach and think clearly so you can take care of you. Do you have confidence in your attorney?
I hope this is helpful. I use this type of thing at work all the time now - it has been awhile since I have thought about The X or been in an R.
