Is it just sex....or more?????

[Amy M]

Okay, Changed! I think they use 2x4's here to remind folks what they should be doing!

You have got to stop letting him push your buttons. If you know you can't do it, then walk away. Go upstairs with D to help her get her stuff ready. Stay away from the encounter. Be in the shower when he comes by...anything so you don't have to interact when you aren't up for it. When I think I'm going to have a hard time on the phone, I have my S6 answer it and avoid talking to H altogether.

Reread the book...DR. I truly believe that if you are scarce when he comes to pick up D, if you don't text or call, if you stop inviting him, if you just leave him alone, he'll notice! And, maybe he'll ask about it. You could then reply, that you finally realized how important it is to him to have his space right now, and that you really want to respect his need for that. What better way to make him feel important than to show respect for his wish to be "separate" from you right now.

I know it's hard...I have trouble too. But, I've noticed that when I answer the phone when H calls to talk to the kids and I don't "chat" with him before I hand it off that the next night when he calls, he makes a point of "chatting" with me. In fact, last night (after not chatting on Monday) he said, "Did I tell you...? Oh, no, I didn't, we didn't get to talk last night." He noticed, and I think in someways, he missed it. So, last night he talked for about 5 minutes...just a baby step, but he initiated it.

He can't miss what he still has. So, make your H miss you a little. Make him wonder. Don't say you have a date, but do look ready to go out next time he comes to get D. Don't make time to chat with him...just a quick "hello..." like you're in a hurry to finish getting ready. Chances are, he'll ask D what your plans are for the evening. And, even if he doesn't, he'll wonder.

You can do it! So can I!! We may have a long way to go, but, we'll get through this mess together. Keep your chin up!

Amy