Okay, I'll give some thought to the counselor thing. I actually don't doubt that it would be beneficial. My main concerns are finding time to go and the potential cost. I have no idea if my insurance covers such things - guess I should check that.
Now to revisit the conversation that you mentioned...
Quote: You and I once talked briefly about your wife's reluctance to talk about sex... we even hit upon the religion thing. Does she not talk about it at all?
She very seldom talks about sex - although I don't consider that too surpising since it seems that she wants to avoid it. But when we did have a good sexual relationship, she never talked about it, and she rarely communicated what turns her on, what feels good, etc. It was as if she felt that if she had to tell me it ruined the effect. This left me trying to read her mind, which of course didn't work. I don't think my wife realizes how different every woman is with regard to their sexual tastes.
Quote: Does she think its something perverse that must be endured?
No, I don't think she sees sex as perverse. Granted, she won't open up and talk about it, but then she has difficulty opening up and talking about anything personal. I think she actually wants to have a good sexual relationship with me but has simply lost all desire, doesn't know how to go about getting it back, and doesn't want to go to any effort to find out how she could get it back.
Quote: Does she seem to experience pleasure from sex, but feel guilty for experiencing pleasure?
She definitely experiences pleasure from sex, and I don't think that she feels guilty at all when she does. In fact, I'm fairly certain that she would always prefer to reach orgasm, although for some reason she's not very open to achieving it by any means other than through intercourse. I mentioned before that she claims to have never masturbated, and I think that she probably has some guilt issue with that. But she's also not very interested in me using my fingers, tongue, etc. Sometimes she's go for the fingers, but she pushes for intercourse pretty quickly once aroused.
Quote: Is she comfortable with her nudeness?
She hasn't been since since having kids, but she's been unhappy with her weight since then too. Maybe her success with this diet will help. Prior to the kids, and marriage for that matter, she nearly insisted on sleeping naked. We'd often lay around naked holding each other while watching tv. Now she barely gets undressed to shower.
