Sooner:

I'd concentrate your sexual frustration helping your wife find a new job. It sounds really, really serious.

I'd find a counselor if I were you and go by yourself. You don't even have to ask your wife to go with you. You going by yourself will be statement enough.

I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how it will help you and your marriage. There are just WAY too many people on these boards who have gone and benefited from the experience. You do need to keep an open mind, however. Counselors do not listen to you for a few weeks, then hand you a list that says, "if you fix this, this and this, your problems are solved." It doesn't work that way. You'll see what I mean WHEN you go. It takes some really hard work, some serious introspection, and a belief that you can come out on the other side.

You and I once talked briefly about your wife's reluctance to talk about sex... we even hit upon the religion thing. Does she not talk about it at all? Does she think its something perverse that must be endured? Does she seem to experience pleasure from sex, but feel guilty for experiencing pleasure? Is she comfortable with her nudeness?

You get my drift. Do you want to revisit that conversation? Maybe there is something there?

Corri