Looking for support from other WAS's

[lost3031]

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted. Things are still pretty much the same for me. My counselor recommended that I talk to my primary care physician re: getting on some antidepressants - she said she was quite concerned about my depression level. I don't think I'm quite ready to go there, think I'll try some natural cures first (exercise, etc.), but I know that it's something I need to see to. She told me that depression can cause some of my uncertainty and unwillingness to make decisions (particularly about H and OM) and getting my depression under control might actually make things a little clearer for me.

In our last counseling session, H said that he will not be the one to end our M - that final decision will be up to me - but that he's at the point where he doesn't really feel like fighting for the M anymore. He did however agree to the "dating" suggestion that the counselor gave us - to go on dates with the intention of getting to know each other in a different way. It seems that even though H and I have always been able to talk to each other, we've never been very good at communicating exact needs that we have that the other has not been meeting or listening to those needs when they were communicated. It's strange to realize that something so seemingly small can create such a huge problem and I find myself wondering how I never noticed it before.

Counselor told me to also take into consideration that my emotional needs are currently being met by OM - not to undermine the M but just that it's something I need to think about in making my decision whether to be with H, OM, or myself. What are the thoughts on this? Do you think this is wise advice or something I shouldn't be hearing from a counselor?

So basically, I really don't know where things are going - I'm still just trying to take it one day at a time and pray that someday I'll wake up with a clear mind and know what it is that I want out of life....