So good to hear from you!! Don't you just hate it when work gets in the way of your LIFE? Jeeze... what's UP with that!?
I'm having a serious internal war right now... half of me wants to be really, really indignant on your behalf because your wife is still stuck... and the other half of me is dying to know how she's lost 18 pounds in three weeks. That is some serious, serious weight to drop in a very short amount of time. The Adkins Diet? Stress?
Have you thought about having the MeatPuppet Talk with your wife? Or are you not to that point yet?
Have you been through counseling yet? I can't remember if you said you had or not. If not, do you think it might be time to go down that path? If you did go, what came out of it?
My numbers seriously fell off this month. Only three times so far. My H has been so stressed with his newish job that for the last four weeks he's been walking around like a zombie. He's past his stress point now, but he's really shot himself in the foot with me because in the last three days, he's been such an unbearable pig, telling me how unsupportive I've been, how I don't appreciate him or anything he does, all I want from him is blood... well, he could have flattened me with a feather I was so stunned.
Right now I'm fighting really hard with myself not to turn this into a major mud slinging event. I keep thinking to myself, do you want to be right, or do you want to solve the problem?
My point in telling you this, Sooner, is I understand how you must feel like a 'whipping post.' For different reasons, maybe, but I understand the feeling. First and foremost is the niggling thought, 'how long am I supposed to take this?'
In my case I let my H know that I was really sorry he felt the way he did, pointed out some things I had been doing that I thought were glaringly obvious in the 'support arena,' and decided that he can be pissed until the cows come home, I feel completely at peace, and actually feel very good about, the role I have been playing in our marriage. And knowing this, really knowing this has allowed me to retain my sanity and sense of happiness.
I did apologize about the dog. I was wrong on that one. I told him if he wanted me to find another home for the dog, I would. I got blasted for such a sentiment, because now that our son is attached to the dog, how could I even suggest such a thing. Then I told him I could schedule a blood letting for myself... maybe that would make him feel better.
I also have an entire arsenal of [censored] I could throw back at him if I really wanted to go to WAR... but I am in the middle of resisting this very sweet temptation... it would feel really good right now to score 'zinger points' because I think I am completely justified. But being justified makes a cold bed companion, so I've been keeping my mouth shut.
I think you are getting close to the point of taking your wife out for 'a talk.' Not an arguement, but I think she really does need to hear you say some things to her. It may not help anything one whit, but if some day you ever do come to that crossroad of having to decide whether to stay or go, knowing that you have been honest and as communicative with her the best you knew how will I think help you find your peace.
Do you think your wife really understands how serious the problem is here? Do you think she understands how deep in 'crisis' your marriage is? It doesn't sound to me like she does, and I think it is up to you to make sure she 'gets' it. You don't have to threaten her, but I'd be real interested to know her reaction, thoughts, feelings, to a life without you in it, shared custody, single parenthood, etc.
I'm rambling. I'll shut up now. What do you think?
