Aww, it sounds like you really made a difference in her life--that's great. It takes a special kind of person to reach out to others even while in the depths of their own pain, and that's you.
I haven't read everyone else's posts closely, so if this is a repeat, I'm sorry--but I'd like to suggest you stop checking your H's or your SIL's Facebook pages completely, or anyone else that might have the OW on there. In this case, what you don't know won't hurt you. My worry/pain/sickness in my stomach over possible OW pretty much stopped when I stopped snooping. You know she's out there, you know enough about her to be the greener grass--and that's all you need to know.
Please, please do yourself that favor.
And as far as tonight, I know you're nervous, so here's some techniques I found to calm your nerves, make you appear more relaxed:
The best advice I can give you is to try to look directly in his eyes when talking to him or listening to him, it will create a connection, and it will calm you down considerably.
Good luck tonight!
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
