I have thought a lot this past week about... Vulnerability. and about how maybe I was a part of my hubby acting the way he does. I thought of myself and my husband. Was I at all to blame for his behavior? { not his drinking but his attitude and behavior towards me? }
For my sitch. And MY Marriage.
OK so sure my hubby is x, y and z. But what if my 'attitude' was somehow drawing the 'assh*le' in him out?
Was I ever vulnerable with him?
Ali,
Do not fall into the trap of thinking you are responsible. He is a man. He is in control of himself and his actions (or should be).
And no, from all that I have read of your situation, the problem is not your lack of vulnerability .
The problem is his attitude to you (disrespectful and taking you for granted), to his children, and abusing alcohol.
Maybe he is starting to improve in these areas, and I don't want to rain on the parade, but its still early days. Also:
(1) What's this move all about - whose idea? why? why now? is this just a "quick fix"?
(2) Has he taken any steps about the alcohol, other than not drinking as much recently?
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
.
