what is next step after the not talking about relationship and keeping some distance. Do we start to create new happy times and if so do I wait for him to instigate them or should i start phoning and texting him again ?
It's too soon to start your pursuit at this point. Give him space to breathe. Remember, at least 2 full weeks of pulling back.
Remember right now you are toxic to him. You cheated on him and then you reverse gears and chase him like crazed, clingy banshee. You seem like drowning person and you nearly drowned him. No one wants to jump back into the water with a crazed drowning person. It's not attractive. Show him you can swim an be stable and "together".
Wait until you get the Divorce Remedy. Read it thoroughly.
Right now the only thing on your mind is "getting him back". If that's the number one thought in your mind you will always be pressuring him in your actions. You need to be a whole, happy and complete person without him for the attraction to re-spark.
Since he's not the one who had the affair, it's OK for you, in some sense, to give him assurances, etc. But you need to be in a place where he's willing to talk to you. Right now he wants space.
As I mentioned before. He needs to know the relationship with OM is over. And a non-contact letter to the OM, which is shared with your husband is in order. In sddition, you need complete transparency with your phone logs, text messages and emails. I don't know the best timing for this.
