Ok ~ So my husband decides to stay home this weekend. This was a first. He also has been very ... vulnerable... as of late. Is the best way I can put it. He is interacting with me on a better level. I would say it is real. It feels genuine. It doesn't feel like ass kissing or back pedaling. My crazy mixed up feelings have calmed down tremendously. I think . I am quite sure he knows he either needs to step up to the plate or I am going to get fed up rather quickly. To be honest, That I am not playing his GAME, so to speak , anymore.
I want him to walk with and beside me. I want for us to get to a healthier place.
Toxic~ no more for now anyway. ( FIB ) He is really trying. He is , IMO, seeing how healthy interaction makes 'us' so much happier.
On Saturday we stayed up sort of late and talked and listened to music.
And he also has not been drinking as much. He also said ... I don't want to go out anymore. In a melancholy voice . That to me, { no I am not a mind reader } , Suggests , he feels remorse.
I don't want to say anything yet. Or sit on my laurels either. I hope that this new behavior and action, on his part. STICKS~
I hope he feels the peace that comes with 'us' getting along.
ME? It is hard to explain the way I have been acting. I for sure dropped the rope when he hit bottom . That day was too much for me. I have let go even more. I am calmer than ever and I am proud to say that I feel peace. {for the most part }
It is in Gods hands.... I cannot control this anymore than I can control the weather or the flower that grows in my front yard. But I am allowing myself to feel some optimism.
I am allowing myself to have fun with him We have laughed a lot this week and joked around more. It hasn't been perfection. It cant be we are Human. But it is light years better. Less alcohol, less fog. More peace~
He did get angry at me for not backing up the dually { big work truck } right. OR rather his way.
I let him know later that was unnecessary. he listened and I am sure he actually heard me.
Thank you all for your support and your energy. I am blessed to have such awesome and vibrant Cyber friends...
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