First of all... thank you for being a teacher and giving so much to children in so many ways. I have memories of teachers whose compassion, excellence, enthusiasm, persnicketiness and/or all of the above made a lasting positive impression. They are often in my thoughts.
Boundaries.. what a concept. I only had them in times of a dire crisis. Now with the help of my therapist I'm learning how to set them for day-to-day living. Like anything, it's hard to start ("Boundaries are like.. whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" I needed a 3x5 card to refer to!) and slowly becomes easier. My rule of thumb is that whenever my stomach gets wound up in a knot, it's boundary (decision) time.
For example, I was deeply frustrated that he was not willing to pay for our two sons college textbooks. I kept sending emails, his reply remained the same. Then I realized. With the limited amount of money I received, with all the family costs I had (the mortgage on the big house, etc.. all the expenses we had as a family) I did NOT have any extra money. I explained my situation to the boys. I feel better. As a mom I felt very bad. But they can ask their dad or choose not to.
That may be an extreme case of boundary setting, but learning to listen to your inner voice and/or sense of conflict helps during this emotionally chaotic time.
I've used a DB coach in the past and found them very very helpful. Having a therapist and/or counselor is a great thing, too. A DB coach is great at pointing you in a positive direction. A therapist is great at giving you the tools to go the journey. A coach coaches, a counselor counsels. Most folks need both. Therapy is usually covered under insurance too.
It's good to hear you're feeling better. You're inspiring me to keep exercising.
