Take great comfort that your H IS acutely missing the whole country house experience...and whether he says so or not -- that DOES include you. This is the most honest he's been in a LONG time!
His ego/pride won't allow him to verbalize it -- but since you were an integral part of the whole -- you are very much a part of what he is remembering and missing.
My xH always tells our son how much he misses "all the good times" we had here and there -- and especially our great Christmases.
Now he never specifically mentions me in those memories -- but obviously I am a huge part of what he misses b/c I was a huge part of the whole. In fact, I'd bet like you, we were the orchestrator and the glue of our families.
There is actually NO WAY for them to remove us from their memories! Trust me, they think of us constantly b/c we are the very fabric of their being. They can run as fast and far as they want -- but they cannot ever escape their love and memories of us. They can deny all they want but denial doesn't equal truth.
I remember you wondering how he could possibly give it all up -- especially the country house. Well, now you know that your instincts were 100% on target. He DOES notice and acknowledge and miss lots of your old life.
And this is good! This is what is supposed to happen. He should miss it b/c it was wonderful! You did not imagine that!
It is difficult to know how to separate out what they say now and what is just revisionist history. We aren't the crazy ones. They are rewriting history so it suits their current selfish choices. Don't doubt yourself and don't believe what he says now. Your life was not a lie. He is the one living a lie now. His "now" is not reality. He is a very unhappy man making disastrous choices that sadly impact your whole family.
If you're lucky, and handle things carefully and smartly, you may find that all these experiences that are now so changed b/c of his choices will end up making him realize all he is giving up...and for what?
Take it as a wonderful sign and know to a certainty that he is thinking of you constantly while you're away -- at a place he so loved that is a cherished part of his life he shared with you.
Know that this is part of the Universe's plan to wake him up.
