My original post is here but don't waste your time going through it. I went through some of it myself and can't believe I sounded so whiny. No wonder H felt so pressured. I was full of negatives always second guessing myself. It must be me. When H was not intimate, I did not feel loved etc. Well, I decided to get rid of all that negative self talk and concentrate on accepting and listening harder for Hs love language which is Acts of Service. He did plenty of those for me. I just didn't see them as acts of love before.
When I began to feel assured of his love, I was happy again and stopped all pressure on him. I bought the Love Languages book for him to read hoping that he would speak my love language. He never did (read the book) but strangely he began to be a lot more affectionate (which is my love language of physical touch). I got a lot more back rubs, arms over shoulders, hand holding, etc. He also gave me a lot more validation about his feelings telling me I was a great wife and how he looked forward to the evenings and weekends when we could spend more time together. (I try to validate every chance I get too thanking him for things which he did for me so he would feel appreciated).
We always did have a lot of good times, laugh a lot together (but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to enjoy them). I decided to enjoy those instead of starting the sex argument and its paid off. H felt less stressed to the point he was even able to joke about it. He would say "Hmmmmm better not stress you up too much or else I would be getting long letters from you." I feel better too working on myself, being less naggy etc. Will update you more if theres more, don't worry but how have you been doing Corri? I see that you are back from your vacation in full force caring about others but what about you? How about an update on your sitch? Start a new thread just for you, we'll all hop in there for you. LH
