I see a whole bunch of people who are telling you to leave W alone, and work on yourself. A whole bunch! Are they all wrong?
When I read what your story about the things you yourself say(STFU, A$$, all sorts of what I would call abusive language), sheesh that is some pretty heavy stuff. I wouldn't think it is very attractive. And lustfully looking at her in church? Is that where you want your mind to be, when you are in church?
I'm not judging you because I have my own stuff to worry about. But I feel like there's something worth looking at there, Phil.
There's this concept of 180 - maybe there are some 180's you can do...like
chill out
stop cussing.
stop chewing
go out, and not just to church. and don't get drunk.
stop criticizing her, to other people. She doesn't need that now. In the story prodigal son, Did the father constantly criticize the son?
Stop laying all your feelings on her. She has enough going on without you piling on top.
There comes a time to stand up and be strong. This is a trial for you Phil, and to pass the test you gotta be both smart and strong. Can you do it? What you have been doing hasn't worked. You need something different. Can you do it?
I know you are hurt and peeved at what has happened. I know the feeling. It doesn't help to rain your disappointment everywhere, to spare no chance to point out to passersby or your family that it was your wife who left. It doesn't help. They know. Or it doesn't matter. Or both.
Would you rather be right or married?
Last thing There are some good people here with a TOTALLY UNBIASED perspective on your situation. Many of them are giving you similar advice.
