Sooner - I have been lurking on your thread. Great to see you back. For some background on me check the 180 backfired thread. I am really impressed with everything you and AM are doing for your wives. I'll tell you -if it was me you'd be getting some major great sex after all that emotional attention. I don't know how old your kids are but I have to tell you that as much as I love them - they killed my desire for sex. I have a 10 and 4 yr old., I work full time and do the bookwork for my husbands business. For years I felt like I just could not give anymore. I was pulled in every direction. It is getting better as the kids get older and I had a few things shock me into reality. I just forgot what it was like to love sex.
Keep doing what you are doing. I don't know if she will read SSM. It changed my perspective on everything although it may have just been the right timing in my life for it. I too am struggling how to approach my H on the sex thing as he has been uninterested because I have not been there for him for so long. It has been about a month for us too. I got some good advice from a db coach.
Tonight I am going to ask him if he is wants sex. If he says his typical "it's your choice" my reply will be a casual, upbeat "ok, I understand, just let me know when you are interested". I know he wants it but does not want to give in to his stubbornness. In the past few weeks I have continued with sex after his reply and he would just receive. I understand he doesn't want to get rejected again.
As for your wife - give her time - especially with kids. It took me a long time to realize that there even was a problem. I let my feelings for my H slip to the bottom of the priority list. How does that go - you always hurt the one you love most.... It took me letting go of a lot of resentment (why do I have to do it all.....) it also took me getting jealous of my H's friendship with a co-worker.
Be a chameleon - keep her guessing and keep doing what you are doing.
