Oh, there will probably be drama again in your life, but you know exactly how to handle it. I'm so happy for you--you ML and it was a reconnection. Nice, P, very nice.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
thanks lost/found :)- drama does exist but you are right- i CAN handle it all!
update! so he didnt come over last night but he texted me last night to say goodnight- i saw it in the middle of the night when i took my dog peepee (didnt reply)...then he texted again to see if i wanted to do breakfast today..so we met for a little and we caught up. i said you are so cozy- i missed you..he said you are cozy too i just didnt sleep well when i was there- i said i know-its an adjustment i said i just want you to be cozy with me for 100 more years...he smiled and laughed sweetly...he said i just need a little space still. i said i understand... and he got all touchy and sweet after he said that.
i truly am fine with this pace...and its like he has to say those things to create space in his own head and then he feels ok right when he says it. like he wants to be with me and its not about me at all...but he just needs clarity that whatever he is thinking is ok. and it is!
he is training for a marathon which is in December and he wants to qualify for Boston - crazy! and he said we can see a red sox game when we are there! so there is the future talk i once dreamed of! i am sure we will be together forever...he just needs to be very clear as to what he wants for us....ill do anything bc im ready for him to be the leader in our M.
for now im enjoying this time- started classes yesterday- working at home and at the office- playing- exercising- eating well and living a great life!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
don't be afraid to disagree with him....and take the lead on things too. You have the ability...and if you want a really equal R, you will need to every once in awhile.
know waht i mean?
but still....
cool beans. Can't wait to hear stuff like that from my W....LOL...
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Hi Neil- i hear ya...not afraid to disagree with him at all. ill say yes within reason..but part of what i have done in the past is override his wants. i want him to take the lead to feel like the MAN in our marriage and to be the one to make an effort to do whats best for our marriage as well. he will step up to the plate- and in the future he will have made the decision and cant use it as an excuse to be annoyed at something or blame anything we chose on me...bc in the past i have really railroaded us in certain directions.
he is learning that he needs to speak up too if he isnt happy...
it is good for him to take the lead now- a big 180!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
we were together all afternoon yesterday. went on a long walk and i ran for bit of it- he was very proud of me. i can only run a little bit bc of my joints- but this is further than ever. really cool!
after dinner he asked if he thinks we should see a therapist. he said im not worried about us getting along now- but in the future when things get tough i am scared about us going back to where we are. i said ive made so many changes, etc.... and he has too..i also said if we chose fear then thats what we will get in life...i sort of feel like i shut the door on therapy at that point..so i said we can do therapy if you would like and talked about it- i guess i have fears that we will get a bad one. anyway- we sort of dropped it bc he got a bit overwhelmed and said there is so much to think about. his brain hurt...
we came to our house and he spent the night- this time we both slept well...i pinch myself realizing he was there in bed with me. and my doggie at our feet.
he left for work and i peeked out the window and said bye bye..he was in his motorcycle uniform and on his work motorcycle...man- he is SEXXY!
anyway- things are good...we are heading towards being back together...i booked a coaching session for tomorrow bc im not sure how to handle this therapy sitch.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
It's so nice that you're still posting, and I think we all have a lot to learn from you. Really happy for you!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
don't worry too much about the therapy thing. if you both go into it with the same goals.....i think that it'll be ok. it will only reinforce what you've been doing...
ya know?
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
ITH- thank you! it is going to be hard work but not as hard as before...more solutions from now on with everything.
yep- i getcha Neil...in fact this morning i brought it up briefly- i said you just let me know when and ill book an appt..i think it would be good to try it once if you want and see how we like it. he said ok..that he would let me know
also- he has ben pretty snappy but at the same time loving. his snappiness is all about him i can tell. he is testy and uneasy. I used to get very defensive and take it so personally and snap back or get sad or cry. now i just let it roll- ask myself is this about him or me and it is about him. it is truly a transformation for me.
we spent yesterday evening looking at a new neighborhood to live in that he liked- i really like it too. so that was fun...
i think he is overwhelmed with all this. thats fine. he can take whatever time he needs- in fact today he packed up his clothes and laundry ( most of it which wasnt a lot) and said he needs to defuzz..thats his words for space and regroup. i said ok...nicely but quietly. he said its nothing bad- i said i didnt think that and i understand. he said i still have my motorcycle here so ill be here after work- i said ok- im here if you want to cuddle.
so i left it all good- he is just struggling. it was hard for me at times to not snap back or say- what is your deal or something like that. but i didnt bc i now that isnt healthy for me. i have done too much work to be sucked back into the negative realm of life. ill stay positive.
i just used to take on so much of his moods. now im really working on not doing that.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
i said i just want you to be cozy with me for 100 more years...he smiled and laughed sweetly...he said i just need a little space still. i said i understand... and he got all touchy and sweet after he said that.