Just thought I’d update my situation, for record keeping purposes if nothing else. I’m now approaching 4 weeks since my wife and I had any kind of a fight (the only one we really ever have being the sex argument). We’ve gotten along great, I haven’t initiated sex or put any kind of pressure on her, I’ve been in a great mood around her, haven’t pouted, etc. However, there’s still nothing happening in the intimacy department – no attempts whatsoever by her to cuddle with me, touch me occasionally, etc., much less have sex. Nonetheless, I’m still doing pretty well mentally and don’t see myself screwing things up anytime soon. I’m still trying to exercise about every other night although I had to take a break from the running as my knees and ankles were killing me. I guess I’m starting to get old, although I think my aches are mainly from not using any running muscles for lots of years – as well as cheap running shoes, which I’ve now replaced. In the meantime I’ve been riding my bike, but I plan to resume running within a day or two. Also, I’ve continued to go to the driving range fairly often and I actually played a round of golf (first one, unless you count some par 3 rounds in high school) on Sunday afternoon. I was bad enough to not keep score, but I got better as I went along and actually had some nice shots. Anyway, it was fun and I’ll definitely keep working on my golf game (if I can call it that yet).
Corri, I’m anxious for you to get back from vacation since your input has been so helpful to me lately. I’d still like your take on the upbringing issue that I mentioned previously, although it really isn’t critical at the moment. In the meantime, I guess I could throw out the questions that are going through my head for Corri or anyone else who would care to offer their insight (are you still out there MPT?). Here’s what is floating around in my mind:
1. After 4 weeks (almost) of getting along great, what is my wife thinking? Could she be anywhere close to getting past whatever resentment she’s harbored towards me, at least to the point that she might start making a conscious effort to work on our problems? Corri gave me a great answer to this question before, and I doubt that my wife’s thinking has changed much since then. Nonetheless I’m curious about what could be keeping her from trying.
2. I sent my wife flowers at work a little over a week ago for no apparent reason and afterwards I didn’t initiate sex or do anything that would give her the idea that I expected something in return. Corri stated that the flowers would have “melted her” – and I think that my wife did really appreciate the gesture. However, I assume that any melting has worn off by now. Does anyone have any other suggestions of things that might again “melt” her? While I’ll continue to occasionally send flowers for no specific reason, I assume that doing so too often would become unappreciated or begin to look like a ploy.
3. Is there anything that I can do at this point (besides what I’ve been doing) that might have some positive impact on my situation?
4. When things do begin to improve, I realize that progress will probably be slow – for instance I doubt that we’ll go from virtually no sex to a steady 3+ times a week right away. But if I go about things right, how likely is it that we’ll get back to having sex regularly – multiple times a week – at some point in the near future? I sometimes worry that by going to all of this effort my wife will finally regain enough desire to have one nice “romp in the hay” (no, I don’t actually live on a farm), then we’ll be back at the same point that we are now. I dread the possibility of going through all of this again, over and over. Anyone have any thoughts?
Guess that’s about it. I’m a bachelor with two kids tonight as my wife is out of town overnight on business, so I guess I should get to sleep as one of them will surely wake up soon and keep me up the rest of the night. Sweet dreams!
