I've got to tell you - you are my new hero! Okay, maybe that's a little strong, but I find your posts to be filled with wisdom. I would definitely like to see your "chart", if nothing else just out of curiousity.
For most of my life, I have probably been one of those people that radiates happiness. I was always the class clown, always happy and easy to get along with, and people have generally enjoyed being around me. Although I'm a fairly good-looking guy, I've never been so good looking that the women flocked to me just because of my looks. But I've often been able to attract women with my personality - as long as I could get a few minutes to talk to them and just be myself. I'm fairly certain that was the reason that my wife fell in love with me.
But, around her anyway, I haven't radiated a lot of happiness lately. The lack of intimacy in our marriage has for the first time in my life caused me to be depressed - and I know that she can see that, even when I don't say a word about our relationship problems. I'm not walking around in a depressed funk all the time by any means, but she probably never knows when I'll go from being happy and fun to grumpy and pouty. I can understand how that would prevent her from wanting to get closer to me.
Before your post today, I actually realized that being unhappy could do nothing to help my situation. People aren't attracted to unhappy people. But since the source of my unhappiness was the lack of intimacy with my wife, I felt like I could find some magic solution to get her to change, then I'd be happy again and there would be a snowball effect. But it obviously doesn't work like that. I need to do whatever it takes to make myself back into the always happy, always fun guy that I used to be. And if I do that, I'll bet you're right that my wife will want to become closer to me.
Unfortunately, I can't just flip a switch and be "Joe Happy" again. But I can sure try, especially now that I realize how much it might help. The running and golf may be a good start. It's not as if I enjoy running so much (especially after the first week of it), but I need to be getting some cardiovascular exercise and I've known that for a long time. I do enjoy it when I'm done though - stopping is nice! And I'm just learning to golf, being about as far from a natural at it as one could be, but I'm enjoying trying to learn. In fact, I'll probably buy a set of clubs this weekend as I've been using my Dad's old set and they're in pretty rough shape. I'll have to see what else I can come up with. I think that if I can do some things for myself while continuing to do my part around the house and with the girls, my situation could really start to improve.
I had one small (okay, very small) success this morning. My wife doesn't work on Fridays, and this morning she was still laying in bed when I was about to leave for work. The girls were in the bedroom watching cartoons and pestering her. I said goodbye to the girls and gave them kisses and hugs, then leaned over to give my wife the traditional unromantic goodbye kiss, and she pulled me on top of herself and kind of squeezed me as if she was actually interested. I gave her a few kisses on her neck and shoulder and she seemed to enjoy it. Then I got up and left for work, terribly horny of course. I realize that's not much to most people, but it's a lot more friskiness than I've gotten from her in quite a while.
Corri, thanks so much. You've been a great help and I really appreciate it. I look forward to more advice from you in the future.
