Thank you both for your input. I really like the idea about handling the situation with a little bit of humor and light-heartedness. Corri is right that my wife is very sensitive concerning the sex issue and therefore won't have much of a sense of humor about it, however if I were to be upbeat and slightly funny when a potential sex argument begins I think it would throw her for a loop. It certainly can't hurt! Every time that we've had the sex argument before I've gotten frustrated and have been anything but light-hearted and funny. I've basically felt that I couldn't control my reaction when in that situation. However, if I look at it more like a game (I hate games by the way, but what the heck) where we could actually make some progress if I can only keep my frustration from showing through while remaining upbeat and jovial, then I think I stand a chance. Having said all of this, I really hope that the sex argument doesn't happen again. But the odds are against me and at least I have a new approach if it does.
For the sake of my "records" I should point out that we did get into the argument on Sunday. I know - I'm not doing well am I. I guess the "possibility of intimacy clock" has been reset yet again. I haven't followed through yet on my plan to ask her to list five things I could do on a regular basis which would help her to feel that I love her (along with the other questions), but I did send her an e-mail today that I thought I'd share just to see if anyone has any opinions. I forwarded one of those weekend getaway e-mails that tells you about several good deals and asked her to take a look at one that was within driving distance. Here's the gist of what I said:
-------------------------------------------------------- ...I think that we could have a great long weekend at this resort. I know that you'll probably say that we can't afford it, but give it some thought anyway. The resort has several nice restaurants and bars, boat and wave runner rentals, parasailing, multiple swimming pools (one is heated), nature trails, and a full-service spa and salon with lots of services and some full-day packages that I think you'd really enjoy...
Here's what I was thinking. We could have someone keep the girls and go on a long weekend together with the understanding that there would be nothing romantic between the two of us the entire weekend - no sex, cuddling, kissing, etc. If I had no expectations concerning romance, I can promise that I would not react the way that I have in the past when I'm hoping for something to happen and it doesn't. This would allow us to just spend some time together, have a lot of fun, and hopefully become close friends again. I think that such a weekend could help us enormously.
Let me know if you have any interest. If you're not particularly interested in this specific resort, but might like to try a "non-romantic" long weekend somewhere else, just let me know and I'll start looking into it.
When I got home she told me that she doesn't want to spend the money right now - which is what I assumed she'd say. When I asked what she thought about the idea in general (referring to the "non-romantic weekend" concept) she said that she didn't know because she hadn't read the whole e-mail. I assume that she'll read the rest at some point and maybe I'll eventually get some feedback. Personally I thought this was a great idea, but I've learned that what I think is usually wrong. Any opinions? By the way, when she said that she didn't think we should spend the money right now I remained upbeat and told her that I understood (and basically agreed).
rentals, parasailing, multiple swimming pools (one is heated), nature trails, and a full-service spa and salon with lots of services and some full-day packages that I think you'd really enjoy...
