You need to try and stop assigning meaning to everything W says and does. A lot of times I think the WA spouse says anything to fill the dead air space. My question is, why are you giving her the audience? I thought you needed space so that you could work and think clearly? You requested that she let you know if she was coming over to the house. That's what VM is for. If her visit doesn't fit in to your plans, then you call her back and let her know it's inconvenient. And it is time to say no once in awhile. You have got to get over your need to prove to your W what a thoughtful, great, all-around, pleasant, good guy you are. You keep telling us and yourself that you are a good man. We know you are. Try and accept the fact that just because that is true, you can't convince your W of it. And even if you did, she might still not want to be married to you. She has had you for 20+ years. She thinks she needs something else.
I can't put my finger on it exactly, but I get the feeling that you thought she would have some big epiphany once she had to leave your house. And, that you are anxiously waiting and watching for any signs that it may be happening. You're wasting valuable time and energy. Try to disconnect from her words and actions.
Spitty
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
