Hi Sooner, I promised you a post a while back about what I've been doing to be happy and satisfied with my H and my marriage without needing him to change. (I'm hoping the computer gremlins are asleep since this is the cursed post....shhhhhh.)
1. I've been focusing my attention on myself rather than my H. Am I loving enough? Am I making loving choices in how I think about him and respond to him? I want him to think of me when he thinks of who brings out the best in him, who he feels best being around.
2. When I start to think about what I might like to be different about him, I bring out a big portion of humility I keep stored nearby. If I'm going to be working on "improving" someone, I have enough to keep myself busy with just me.
3. Gratitude. It is truly an amazing honor, luxury, gift...pick your word...to have someone to share your life with. I'm not going to do or think anything which trashes that gift.
4. Assume the best, not the worst, about my spouse. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he does something or doesn't do something I think he ought. I'd want him to do the same for me.
5. Make the decision to love unconditionally.
6. Reminding myself that when I'm too focused on myself and my "needs," I usually feel pretty bad. When I change my focus to others, I feel much better. The good feelings seem to last longer under those circumstances than the good feeling I get having my "needs" met. It really takes some conscious effort on my part though to remember that when I'm feeling bad.
