Well, I stuck with my plan for over a month - not putting any pressure on my wife and not making any advances - but unfortunately I screwed up tonight. We went to Dallas this weekend with our girls and stayed at my brother-in-law's house. It was a nice weekend although not the least bit romantic. I honestly don't remember when we last had sex, but it was a long time ago and I'm so horny that I'm about to explode. So after getting back this afternoon, I told my wife that I'd really like to make love to her tonight. She rolled her eyes and started making excuses right away, but didn't actually come out and say no. I took the girls to bed around 9 and had them to sleep before 9:30. My wife was already in bed so I crawled in and tried to cuddle up to her. She basically freaked out and the usual argument began. It didn't get too bad - no outright yelling or anything - but nonetheless it happened and I'm sure that she's added a few months onto my sentence because of it.
I know that I screwed up and I suppose the thing to do is to just pick myself up and try again. But that's so hard to do because I have no idea how long I might have to suppress my feelings and desires before things will get any better. I want her so badly and I hate that I may have to wait months or years to even touch her in a romantic way, much less make love to her. Knowing that there's nothing I can do to speed up the process only makes things worse.
