wow a lockout.

[Gman3388]

I just spoke to her on the phone. She asked what was wrong so I told her what S10 had asked me. I told her I said no or something that sounded like it. After that I clamed up.
After several minutes of silence she finally said "well I don't know what you want me to say. I can talk to him if you want"
I said that was up to her.
After several more seconds of silence she said she was picking up a prescription for her mom and hung up.

Really could use the support and some advice right now gang....

[Gman3388]

More journaling or...
And the adventure continues
W had called me again later in the day to say that she was taking the kids to a "petting zoo" of sorts (I do want to say the actual name of the place) with her sister.
I stopped by her grandmothers to do a few small jobs and touch base with her. She knows whats going on. As I'm about to leave I get a phone call from W. (no I didn't tell her I was stopping there.) She asked if I was working late or and her voice trailed off. I said No and told her where I was and that I was leaving very soon. She said ok and we hung up.

Later after dinner I goofed around with the kids and W got into the act poking at me and some tickling. At one point we were holding hands (I was doing it so she would quit pinching me)
But I didn't pull away first. Throughout the course of the night however she was getting phone calls and texts. Most of the time she would tell me who it was. I acted as if of course.
I do know that she is reconnecting with MF (you know who this is if you read my stitch from the beginning) as his dad just died.
She made it a point to tell me that his girl;friend said she didn't care about what happened to his dad etc. Not sure why she said that or tells me these things.
The Divorce info papers are still sitting in her car on the front seat, plain as day. Don't know if that's for my benefit or not but I'm not bring them up.

PMA PMA PMA....

[Gman3388]

Another day..another journal...
W continues to act sweet and nice. papers still in car...
Yesterday she took the kids to the beach with her other MF who she worked with 3 years ago when this all started. Turns out MF girlfriend knows my MIL really well.
Small world :P
It seems she said MF name more than normal.Might have been trying to get a reaction from me or maybe a fight but I didn't give in. PMA act as if!
She called on the way home, to ask what I wanted for dinner and of course I never know the answer to this question, so we settled on Pizza.
The kids had fun and there were no embarrassing questions to answer..least not right now anyways.
At one point she said she had a headache from being in the sun too much. I got her a few ibuprofen and some coffee.
Later she turned on her computer and had said a strange pop up came up. (anti virus stuff, my W is very computer illiterate sometimes, this she will admit too.) I leaned over her to check out what was on the screen and she put her head on my chest and kinda leaned against me. I hugged her for a moment and was the first to let go.
It seems she's still getting cell calls from other MF....cept this time she talked in the same room to him.
She's still planning and going on her trip next week going out of town with her friends to a NASCAR race. Funny she said she'd never go to one without me but maybe this is what she needs.
No I don't know if MF is going too. I do know that her BGF is going as well as a few others from work.
It does bother me that we aren't going together like we did in May but I don't let her see that.
PMA....
I'm not totally sure this is MLC or just WAW or what.
She isn't going out much at night...she stays and watches TV with me when the kids go to bed, the playing around and such...

Who knows.

[Gman3388]

The questionnaire has been filled out and is in her purse.
She hasn't mailed it yet.
Yet she still hugs me goofs around and I even got a kiss on the cheek.....

[Gman3388]

Thread closed...
Moving to WAS

[Gman3388]

Not not quite closed....
I think Ill stay here.
Last thread
Venting...
We had a short telephone discussion about how her night was going working at the bar.
She said she didn't even make 20 bucks yet.
(shes a bartender)
She said second job here I come.
I said you ought to quit that place cuz you don't make sh*t there.
To which she said NOPE!
Why? I thought, Cause all your drunken a**hole friends are there? You wont make money there, you wont look for another job, you wont ever help me pay the bills, you wont put the car in your name, you still want to divorce me for some damn dumb reason.
Ive gone the detachment route...almost dark.
As she was talking to our daughter tonight D picked up on W attitude and asked what was wrong. Not sure what Mommy said.
On a another note W and Mom seem to be getting along better.
I'm tired....so tired.
ya that song by Ozzy Osbourne.

[Gman3388]

W managed to get a first coat of paint on the shed. Looks damn good too! I told her how it looked and that she did a good job.
I got a thanks from her. I asked if she wanted any help and she said no don't worry about it..ok?
It seems shes back into PO'd Mode. Her answers are terse and short at times.
After a long talk with a good person last night I have a renewed sense of DBing. Somewhere the woman I fell in love with , the mom of our kids lurks. I want so bad to see that lady again. I know I need to show her the place of peace but this time I know we need to work on us together when reconciliation comes.
If you read this please say a prayer for us.
Lord help us.

[Gman3388]

Out of the blue I get a phone call from W.The fourth one today.
She is busy getting school supplies for the kids.
That's a load off of my mind, I thought I was going to have to buy it all.
Anyways she said hey wanna met me at Arby's Im hungry.
I said sure honey be right there. We had a nice although quick lunch cause the kids are due back from their church youth group outing.
Still it was nice just to be there with her.
Sometimes when you wonder if God is listening....He'll let you know.

[Gman3388]

Hmmm....
Yesterday W is getting ready for work. SIL comes over and does her hair. She looks GOOD! Total change from the way she used to wear it which was a carbon copy of her bad friend.
She met me at the door as I was coming in from a store run. I said hey looks nice and wished her a good night at work.
This morning she leaves gas money and a nice note asking me to grab something for lunch for the kids as they are having another youth group outing. Ran to the store real quick and came back. Gave the kids a kiss and before I left I kissed her on her still sleeping head....
I wonder if she can feel that somewhere.

[Gman3388]

Had an ok night last night. While the W was at work the kids and I helped SIL and MIL pack and load SIL's stuff for a move to NC. SIL is going to school there. W came by after work which wasn't busy at all. Interesting convo between SIL and I...she said that once she is gone MIL and W will reconnect. That's the way MIL works. I said I hope so. W was NORMAL when her mom was regularly in her life. my W used to look up to her mom. Even had the same hair style sometimes. Funny thing s that when the rest of the kids started moving out 3 years ago MIL would tend to gravitate towards them before they left. Kinda like to spend extra time with them. This left my W kinda in the dust and she didn't like it. When they did see each other they would have disagreements which would sometimes lead to big fights. They would go for weeks not speaking to each other.
Anyways after SIL said that I told her I hoped they would.

We finished packing and loading, and SIL gave D8 hair cut.
We said our goodbyes and left.
W went to the store while I took the kids home.
A short time later W came back the groceries and a movie.
We messed around on our computers while the kids played PS2 before bed.
After putting the kids to bed and reading them our nightly chapter of a book, (we are currently reading Treasure Island)
The W and I sat down for the movie which was a remake of Prom night. It was ok but it kinda sucked.
During the movie I was sitting at the end of the couch. W moved her pillows and laid on my lap. I put my arm on hers and we stayed there for a little while.
It was really nice. She didn't make me move my arm or anything and we continued to make comments on the movie....
like HEY DONT GO INTO THE CLOSET!! :P HES BEHIND YOU!!
heheh
Later when I said I was going to bed she got a little sad or so it seemed. (she still on the couch )
Well, I thought to myself "You can join me"
but I don't think she would.