I just don't see that's something you can get over in 4mos.
...or something she can get over in four short months (drugs, alchohol, gambling). That's why I agree that he sounds like a WAH at this point..."Too much water under the bridge" "Too many negative things said." "No way to get past that now."
You actually expected her to forgive you in four months when it's been years that you didn't care enough about your R to change them before?
Last edited by Floyd101; 08/26/0806:17 PM.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
You don't sound pissed off. It probably seems to most of us that you "got over" your wife awfully fast. Somethings just not right about that. You can want to be free from the drama, and want to be out of an unhealthy situation, but this IS the woman you vowed to spend your life with. I just don't see that's something you can get over in 4mos.
Alot of people i talk to say i seem to have gotten over her rather fast. I don't know how to explain it, but i really don't miss her, and i cannot see myself going back to hanging out with her and her friends(they obviously weren't mine) ever again. Maybe it's just me, maybe i am different from other people, I did my grieving and that's that. I can't explain it, i really can't. Maybe it's something I wanted but never expected to happen. I did vow to spend the rest of my life with her, and at the time I meant it, but now i question if i ever really did. Does that make more sense?
I just don't see that's something you can get over in 4mos.
...or something she can get over in four short months (drugs, alchohol, gambling). That's why I agree that he sounds like a WAH at this point..."Too much water under the bridge" "Too many negative things said." "No way to get past that now."
You actually expected her to forgive you in four months when it's been years that you didn't care enough about your R to change them before?
Again , I don't know how to respond. Maybe i've been burnt so much that I can easily detach once i've gone thru the motions? I don't know what to say
I'm not trying to be too critical sawks, so I'm sorry if it comes across that way. Only you know all the details and exactly how you feel. I just want to make sure you take all things into consideration and don't make decisions too rashly.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
I'm not trying to be too critical sawks, so I'm sorry if it comes across that way. Only you know all the details and exactly how you feel. I just want to make sure you take all things into consideration and don't make decisions too rashly.
I understand and it's all good, if i didn't want any input i wouldn't be here. I think this whole sich made me really grow up if that makes sense. The whole thing really opened my eyes as to who I was. W had threatened to leave last year and didn't, so maybe it wasn't 100% a surprise thus the last year wasn't great anyways, thus maybe I was over her a longtime ago? dunno Floyd, dunno
I get that, but I also think you are moving in the dating arena too fast. My thinking is this: I get that you don't want to work out the M, and that is cool. Heck, when you are done, you are done. But, devil's advocate...you don't want to go into a new relationship and make the same mistakes again. That's why you need time to get to know yourself, and still DB because that will utimately make you a catch that any woman would feel very lucky to have.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I get that, but I also think you are moving in the dating arena too fast. My thinking is this: I get that you don't want to work out the M, and that is cool. Heck, when you are done, you are done. But, devil's advocate...you don't want to go into a new relationship and make the same mistakes again. That's why you need time to get to know yourself, and still DB because that will utimately make you a catch that any woman would feel very lucky to have.
I hear you but i allready think i was a catch(i partied once or twice a month with my buddies, but according to my wife that would be all weekend parties, which was never the case), now i am refining that. I have promised myself i won't make the same mistakes and I won't. And yes I am still DB , gym is my GAL and getting over my fears and, well u guys all do it well u know what i mean. I think the new girl is quite enamored with me and i have explained what the sich is, she has been there done that and is ok with it. We're just hanging out anyways, that is slow isn't it?
That is slow, but I thinks it's your emotions that are going too fast. You're falling for these girls too quickly.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hi Lola, this isn't a screed against you, just prompted by your post.
<RANT> ARGH!! I hate that word. Dating. Hate it hate it hate it. It's so, loaded.
It appears to me that somewhere there has grown up this presumption that men and women must have exclusivity all the time and that people must move from one LTR to another.
Why?
Why can't someone leave a LTR and then instead of hopping into another LTR, spend their days enjoying the company of a multitude of friends, some with benefits and some without, some that like the theater and some that prefer the lake?
Why is it that after leaving a LTR, the presumption exists that we should spend time by ourselves? Is loneliness somehow beneficial?
Lest anyone think that I'm insane, I do understand that some people leave LTR with baggage and enter into new relationships without dealing with that baggage. Is this the default behavior? I don't know. Maybe I'm naive, since this is an area in which I have no experience. </RANT>
I agree Dan. I agree with all of that. I don't think you need to be "alone", but just careful.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
