For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[Sugar and Spice]

But yeah, I fantisize. And I think that is all it is. Fantasizing about something missing in my life. Something missing that brings me joy. I don't call anyone(the alphabet girls). They call me. I just sit back and enjoy a fantasy.

Maybe thats where it starts. With a fantasy. What is a fantasy? Something that is not reality, not the truth and not usually what we have. She says you stand between her and happiness? Well that and a buck-fifty will get you a cup of coffee. Of course she is going to say that because what she fails to realize is that its not you that stands in her way, its her. She needs to get her taste of her "fantasy." She may think OM is her chance at happiness or whatever BS DAFT thing her fogged out mind thinks at the moment, but the reality is this...She let her unhappiness with her situation and fantasy life overtake her reality. She is lacking in some way and rather than face it and try and fix it, she ran and got a band-aid. Did it fix it? No. Did the troll-aid my H picked fix it? Nope. Is it our fault? Is it our mess to clean up? Nope. Therein lies the rub. We know how to fix it and want to, but can't...so frustrating.

You and I both deserve so much more, but yet our hearts hang on. We both are too accomodating and still are enmeshed in our WAS lives. We're not crazy H4H, we are scared. Scared spitless that if we really just drop the rope and let them go, that they won't come back. I can't speak for you, but we seem to go through a lot of the same emotional ups and downs. Its hard to GAL, when they were such a big part of the life you had.

I understand about wanting someone to love and someone to love you back...trust me, I get it. I also know though, that if I allow myself to crack that door open, the results will be devastating. One of the biggest reasons I don't/haven't even tried to start thinking about someone else is I don't want to ever to to someone else what has been done to me. I don't ever want the knowledge that I used someone else to make me feel better. I'm not saying that you would do that, its just how I feel. I don't feel I can legitimately start trying to make those kinds of connections until this situation I'm in, is done. I would hate to drag someone else into this drama and all it would do is jack up any potential R I would have with someone else.

I'm rambling here, but you know my heart is in the right place (I hope). Just be sure that you are basing your thoughts and actions in reality, not fantasy and give yourself a chance to heal from one situation before beginning another. Thats all...

BTW...your W is not happy, she puts on a good dog and pony show, but shes not happy, just so you know.