The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Treese, I am thinking of you and praying for you. I hope that everything is okay. Hang in there girl. You can do this.
(((Treese)))) Luv,TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Hello Everyone....thanks for checking on me....I have been texting a few of you just to keep my head above water...it really hasn't been easy....Not sleeping much...tossing and turning....H goes to court on September 3 and weeks before we have results of the genetic testing....I'm really just numb right now....I cry....I want to hate him...but I can't...he was the love of my life...but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust again....H still has the I don't care attitude...the "is what it is" thing....now that irritates me....I am on pins and needles crying daily and he is happy go lucky H.....when I asked if he was happy he said, "that depends on what aspect of my life you are talking about"...he said the part he wasn't happy with was his relationship with his kids.....the rest he is happy with...yesterday he took S11 to practice and brought him home cause I had back to school night...when I was heading home I called to make sure son got homework done and showered and H said yes....and asked if I was on my way home....when I arrived H was gone....my guess is because he can't face me but I don't even know anymore....I'm done trying to figure him out...he's on his own...I'm drained....He still doesn't know why the mother of his child did this....well, she wants money....
I went on the computer (bad thing to do) and looked up some things on back child support, and in my state, they can collect back child support even if the child is now an adult....so even at only $400 a month back support for 8 years, and you're charged interest, would be about 59,000.....I about fainted...I am trying to just get money together to get an attorney....he will have to have an attorney if it turns out she wants all this...they could take my house...my hand is forced to file....I see no other option at this point....I can't let her go to court and get money that needs to be split with my children....he has put me in a huge bind....we don't have that kind of money...I actually married for love.....I got off the computer because I couldn't handle reading anymore.....plus I realize every sitch is different....but he will still have to pay forward....grrrr....I just can't believe this.....truly....I really need some advice but until I can gather the money, I'm stuck and it looks as though I will be screwed....H still thinks the judge will let him live....he has to have enough to live on....I cry in fear....fear of the unknown.....I mean it would be different if he didn't know the kid was his but he did and for 8 years.....
arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh................
my mind races all the time...going over scenarios.....what is going to happen which led me to get on the computer again....
You all know that the girl he is with now is a friend of ours from when we were growing up....well...OW is a teacher and I went online to her school....I have not seen her in years....last time I saw her she was beautiful, dark brown, black curly hair....great body....etc....well...I pulled up pictures on their website and OMG......i found 1, only 1 picture of her....I was shocked....when they say they affair down....believe it....she has aged....very plain....very full face....she looked terrible....her hair was my color now...kind of a medium brown...I couldn't really tell about her body but I really didnt need to see it....I almost felt relieved....she's not beautiful any longer....and wow...he traded me for her....she must really be good in bed or she makes him feel like he is king.....I showed the picture to a few of my coworkers and they were shocked...they were like, "are your freakin kidding me"...so it wasn't just me....and dryheat...I sent him a pic...he can tell you....I wish I could post both of us here to show you but we can't.....I dont' know why but I had to know what she looked like now.....well...I don't think I'm great but I'm a 1000 times better than her.....let him have her.....I would love to email to H and ask him what he was thinking but why...it's not worth it....and the mother of his child is just as plain....I don't get it....I take care of myself....I like makeup and I wear nice clothes and he went for that....wow....that's all I can say.....so that's it....this is where I am....still nowhere.....
Keep praying for my family.....we need it......
((((hugs))))
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I don't know where you live or what your state laws are, but it sounds like you need to talk to a L YESTERDAY. You may need to file for a D QUICKLY in order to freeze the assets before a judge can order them paid to the old OW for child support.
I know that's not what you want. I know you don't want a D, but you have GOT to protect YOURself and YOUR kids. Your H certainly won't do it right now.
Again, I don't know what your laws are, but I'm pretty sure that where I am....if you have not filed for a D, and the judge ruled that H has to pay back child support, it would be a joint debt that would come out of your joint property. But if you have already filed for D, any money the judge awarded to the old OW and her kid would come out of his separate estate once the D was final.
Check into that ASAP!
I know this is so tough. {{{hugs for Treese}}}
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
I am so sorry Treese, and I have no idea what I would do in your shoes. I guess what others are saying makes sense. Why lose all that YOU deserve over something so stupid that your H done? I feel for you and will continue to pray for you and your children.
Luv, TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
I don't know if you have done this or not but I would go to a L for a consultation. See what they say. Alot of them will let you make payments to them.
Maybe there is another way instead of a D. I don't know but it is something I would look into. You have to protect yourself and your babies.
We are here for you. I am praying for your family.
It sounds like Treese you need to get some legal advice. You could try getting some consult over the phone free without even going in to meet with a lawyer.
Yep, you can collect back child support. I am collecting it now on my s19.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
