If you need help back to your spirtual home. I'm here and can pretty much claim authority as a lay amateur theologian. LOL There is also a great resource called the Journey Home Network founded my Marcus Grodi. You might want to look into resources on EWTN, and see what you can find out about Dr. Scott Hahn.
I'm also thinking you need a deep red lipstick for those golden brown eyes.
I'll be praying with you Wifey.
BND, Lurker... haha... lol.
I have thought about sole custody, but that will just put her into a rage. I don't think the time is right. Unless she starts exhibiting unsafe behavior. Her kids are her life. Well they were. Now it seems to be the ice cream shop, then the kids, and I'm not even in the game.
I have cut down on buying stuff for the kids. Even tongight they wanted to go miniture golfing and I told them not tonight. Luckily they found Indiana Jones lego's for the playstation and they are consumed by it. It is a puzzler. We have done other things that do not require money either, but it just seems like they always think I need to do fun stuff with them. I like to paint and we get out the paints and try new things with it. I think we should do some painting this week. Looks like I have them tonight, tomorrow, and the next night. They start school on Weds. It's going to get interesting.
Closure with the exgirlfriend. Ha, is there really. I mean I haven't seen her in over 13 years. The last time I talked with her was on the phone and my wife was there as the girlfriend. Saying don't talk to the that b|tch you are with me now. Then all through the marriage I had to deal with her insecurity over it. I believe I had closure, but now that I saw that there is real closure. You see that girlfriend was a walk away. She came back, and walked away again. Looks like she went to another state, and it took her ten years before she settled down. So it was most likely a good thing that her and I didn't stay together. Who knows. I wonder if she knew I got married? Have kids. I mean 13 years and I had a lifetime of love with my wife, or so I thought.
Point is I also let her go. Thinking if it was meant to be, then it was meant to be. But then I thought I met my true love and married her.
I still believe I met my true love and married her. She is just a little confused right now and going through some crap. I just think it is kind of sad that this exgf and I didn't remain friends. Then I carried her BS into my marriage.
Well the same hold true for the wife and I. Will she ever come back from the Southern Train?
Do I keep making things worse? Most likely? I just keep thinking she is going to snap out of it.
Reflecting back. Reading back. I was told to change the locks. I didn't. I kept things calm.
I keep getting told about a visitation schedule. However I think this is part of the burden on her. She is experiencing a solitary loss by having to worry about when the children are going to be watched and by whom.
I do think I need to tell her that on nights she works and the kids have school then they need to stay with me.
I wonder if she will come home when she takes the kids to school. I wonder if she will come in the morning and get them ready to take them to school. These are things she needs to talk to me about, but I don't think she is ready to act like an adult.
Just like the exgf took over 13 years to settle down and maybe she is starting to act like an adult. I wanted to get married young, because I didn't want to run around like a goof ball. Looks like my current wife does now. Like she missed something, because we got married so young. Looks like exgf got a good job, and she was happy looking in the photo. Wonder which one of them will be on this site in the future?
Goals... Keep my head above water. Stay close to God.
Stop trying to hug her, kiss her cheek, or touch her hand.
Stop texting completely. Last night I back slided. Pretty much told her off. Let her burn out.
I start class again tomorrow, and hopefully I will not have to fight with team members. Get the easy A. Like the last class. I took two weeks off to recharge.
You said something about physical presence. I think I just experienced it. I was walking around the house, cleaning up after the kids and doing house chores. I was thinking I miss her so much. I even miss her yelling at me. What I would give to hear her yell at me about something besides the stupidity of the sitch. I looked in the other room and I could see her standing there in my sons room folding and putting away clothes.
I must be dreaming. But that is the room she always slept in with the kids.
I was cleaning that room the other day. I found a bunch of her hair in the corner underneath the dresser. I put it in some paper and wrapped it up and put it in my wallet.
She's here... But I think it is more of a spiritual presence.
Only one person needs to be submissive and it is not me.
You?
Her?
Same Jazebels...
How dare you, Phil? You stand before God and profess that you need not be submissive. Perhaps your arrogance and hubris is because of your hurt. Yet, I think you need to pray on this. God will bend you to his will. It is in his hands.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Only one person needs to be submissive and it is not me
Boy, you miss a word and changes the whole context of the sentence. What I meant to say is only one person needs to learn to be submissive and it is not me. It is her.
I am already submissive to Christ.
And AmyC, I guess I don't understand what you are saying.
Speak life over your home???? I don't get it.
Ephesians 5. Be subordinate to one another.
We were not. We have no chance of doing that now that she left. I asked her not to leave. Begged, pleaded, cried, and prayed. Asked everyone I knew for help and prayers.
Pushed her further away.
That verse doesn't pertain to my family though. It pertains to us.
Really AmyC, I don't see the point. What are you getting at. Perhaps the post a 3 AM was insolence due to a misunderstanding.
I'm pretty beat down. I start class tonight. Last night I had to discipline my children. They wouldn't listen. After 10 they are waiting for their mother and I'm trying to read and study for my upcoming class.
When she got there I wanted to talk to her about this scheduling issue, but she is just always in a hurry. I wanted to tell her on nights she works the children need to stay with me. School is starting tomorrow for them. They need to be in bed. Then I got sidetracked.
I tried to sleep. Then I had your post to think about. I wake up and write what I think. What is the relevance of what verses pertain to what God thinks about my family.
My children are disobedient. As is my wife. As am I to her. Perhaps I have too much pride. I lack patience. I'm an arrogant pompous know it all. I lack humilty. I fight is all. You Happy?
More beating myself up.
You know I was driving into work today and I figured out why my wife said she is aloud to work, because I work. The conversation had no relevance as to what we were talking about. Then it dawned on me. The conversation I had with her mother. I told her mother the answer to her daughters problems were for her to come home. Her mother said she wasn't going to tell her that. Now I know for a fact her mother spins things. I'm sure her mother told her that I don't want her to work and I want her to come home. Now that my wive's brain is all messed up that is the only thing she could say to me after Mass.
I'm sure of it. MIL is a story teller. I can only imagine what the woman says about me to the family.
The post from Amy kept me up. Woke me up. Caused confusion.
I don't need to be confused.
1 Timothy 2:12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 Further, Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and transgressed. 15 But she will be saved through motherhood, provided women persevere in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
A man could also mean her husband.
Now I'm not trying to get into the cave man approach here. I don't expect my wife to stand behind me. I expect her to stand beside me with equality.
And Wifey let AmyC fight her own battles with me. It was a misunderstanding. I forgot a word.
Jezebel=Impudent, Insolent, marked by contemptuous or cocky boldness or disregard of others. Overbearing. Insultingly contemptuous in speech or conduct.
And the number one answer!
PROUD!
So I'm the male version and my wife is the female version.
I text are they up. She responds 15 minutes later, yes.
I text: How are we going to handle school. I would rather discuss this in voice. Call me later.
She text: What do we need 2 discuss?
I text: School nights you work they should stay with me.
She text: Then u need to talk to D tonight cause she prob. wont w u.
I also went to send them off to school on the first day together. They need their rest. On days you have them I want called in the morning by them.
She text: They r sleeping w me tonight i want them. i will b at ur house in morn. U never broght them on the first day of school y now?
I text: You never let me. I also made the mistake of not doing it with you. I always thought it wa s your thing. Sorry. I made mistakes.
I text: if you come to the house in the morning i want you to be calm. Let me handle them calmly. Getting dressed. Eating. Etc...
She text: Ok.
I text: I was the provider and you were the nurturer. You were the glue. Now I feel I have to be both, since you left. I'm a single parent, and you felt like you always were. I don't think it true, but you do. I understand why you felt that way.
I text: The kids need stability. Not bounced around at night on school nights.
I text: Lets just be the best parents we can be for them.
She text: Ok
I text: I'm not your enemy. Stand by me as equals.
I text: The kids never wanted me to take them on the first day remember. Son was a pain on his first day. He only wanted you to take him.
I text: Look how long it took before he would let me take him. They were still in schock over the windows.
I text: Then you and I started having major problems. ----------------------------------------------------- I'm done...
I believe a lot of our issues stem from the fact that I wasn't parenting the way she wanted me too. I never did the Santa Claus thing in her mind. I never went to school events. I never took them on their first day. etc...
Hopefully I broke down some walls, or I made things worse.
LOL There is also a great resource called the Journey Home Network founded my Marcus Grodi. You might want to look into resources on EWTN, and see what you can find out about Dr. Scott Hahn.