The first domino

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Julia,
Wow, looking at some of the posters here it made sense to me.. I have felt rather attacked lately, my Mum and Auntie have said to me that I am being a 'doormat' and acting like a victim and allowing him to do this to me and I should stand up for muself. My best BFF is very disparaging of DBing and said I had given all my power over to him by doing this and put myself in a victim mode...all very hurtful to hear, but they say "you need to protect yourself and do whats best to stop you being hurt" and I pointed out that waiting patiently for a depressed man, who has no OW is my way of NOT hurting myself. My choice to still love him and consider the door open is not a weakness, or being a victim or a doormat.. wel, I didnt think so !??

The clothing thing can be a nightmare.. I worried so much on Sundau I ended up having 5 minutes to get ready !!! I think it wouldnt have mattered too much what I was wearing, as long as my face and hair was done and I was reasonably dressed, I guess its bigger than that??

I have been finding my BFF difficult to deal with too..and Sunday night she said some things on the phone that I have brooded over for 2 days too. My C said that when people say such judgemental things, or you should do this, or that, they are often saying something abuot themselves, or their own experiences and that it is ok to take whats good in their advice and ignore bits that you dont feel are helpful, without damaging the friendship. If that helps!

Ali xxx