After a long talk on Tuesday, Here is how we have decided to proceed.
I will place no sexual pressure on her to be anything, with no minimum standards, other than reasonable frequency, so that she can finally figure out what she really likes or not. The pressure has been a source of confusion for her. I can believe that. As it turns out, she really does like sex, but as far as knowing what she really likes or not, she is probably at an inexperienced level. Please don't point your fingers at me. I certainly never tried to hold her back from figuring out what she wanted. That was caused by her misinterpretation of my motivations.
After the third round of explaining to her that her wanting me was not not to be defined as her being some wild woman sexually, I think she finally got it. This issue has been a sore spot in the past, and I thought we were already past it, but I guess not.
In a suprise turn of events, she says that she likes my playful hugs, nibbles, and other affections with sexual overtones. I had stopped doing any of that. She wants that back.
As for the gifts and self image issue, according to her, it is still a self image issue. We discussed that for a while. I have no idea what to do about anyone's self image. The woman caused car accidents when she was younger, just walking down the street. I am very serious. Even then, she thought she was too much something or not enough of something else. I can't fix that, even though I applied all the standard arguments.
It will take a while for me to get over the pain of starvation. It will take her a while to get over trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. It will take patience and time for both of us. That means that I have to be willing to wait longer for all this to hopefully settle. As of today, I think I can handle that. I don't know how I will feel about it next week.
My attraction to her is improving, although it took a nasty blow.
In my interpretation of the whole issue, I don't think my logic was flawed, although my approach might have been. It is entirely possible, however, that even having the discussion could have caused her to walk away, rendering all the argument academic anyway.
I did and still do, love her.
I never mentioned the D word.
I will give additional details as I have time or if requested.
For what it is worth, and for reasons I simply have no explanation for, the last two nights have given me, by far, the most intense orgasms of my life. Yes, girls, it does vary greatly for the guys too :-) There is no special emotional state. I am no more "pent up" than I have been in the past. I wouldn't really have noticed if the orgasms could have been plotted as a point inside the normal range. These things redefined the entire scale....
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
