Each new "cut" hurts as much as the last!

[Abbey]

Just a little update that I'm still around and kickin' *smile*
I have a C appt on Wednesday and one of my best friends is staying with me over night tonight - Tuesday. Her hubs is away on business.

Thanks for the good thoughts and wishes... I'll try to answer some of Ali's questions in another post...

The update: There's more going on that I found out last night,... I need as Michelle said to get away from the drama/soap... but what has me shaking my head now is her latest power play.

I guess in the midst of this selfish phase of MLC, the H doesn't want to live with anyone. I guess she thought if she played all her cards right, that she would convince him to let her move into the big shiny house with all the benefits of being able to spend like the gold digger parasite she is and sink her claws into his future no matter what!!! I had been told that he's set her up to move into a place by herself instead - with or without kidlettes, who the hell knows. (I've known about this since early July)

So right now she's put in the position of not having "either" security of my H, his money etc... or her husband who still loves her, and is still going to be able to manipulate and have his "money" to fall back on, Her sitch right now is that she would still be alone without anyone to latch onto in any sufficient way that would satisfy her... So... what to do, what to do?... Her answer... try harder to get into MY house.

The latest: She's told my H that she's contemplating going back to her husband. Can we all say POWER PLAY? She's good, I"ll give her that. Will he bend? I dunno. I can't control that,... just hope SOMETHING some people have said to him since we split... has sunk in and he doesn't fold.

Hard not to try to read the tea leaves as to what might happen next... I'm trying to put it out of my mind,... DO as I said I've done... go dark and let go. Let it play out as it will. Accept that he has to follow his path, even if it's head first into the fire.

I know one thing... since he's still in MLC mode... being with me isn't somewhere I can go... (as he won't want to be alone too long)...BUT... I will not go through the on again, off again thing that some have gone through here. This break up almost killed me once... Once burned, twice shy, ya know?

If he was coming out of this... I might feel differently, but being able to think clearly has certainly made me realize the possible ways this could possibly go. None of which I'm *ready* for. I'm not dealing with a MLC'er who's brain is still in knots, I'm certainly not going to allow myself to be "seconds". or second choice. I love my H, I love who he was, who he is capable of being... this alien... no thanks. But I'm getting a head of myself...He may be wrapped enough around her finger to fold to her latest manipulation... PLus what Ali said in her 5) comment, ... is where I'm at. I need to regenerate. I need to be able to deal with him as a friend someday, and even right now, I find that prospect horribly difficult and exhausting.

Abbey